The leaves have started to change color. The weather is turning colder. That means its time for one thing. The only time of the year anyone actually cares about the states of Vermont, Maine, And New Hampshire. Did I mention the NFL season kickoff is tonight. It has been awhile that something has actually been worth watching has been on Sunday. Don’t get me wrong, but you can only watch so much of a car make left hand turns before those long period naps start. The type of nap you take after eating the Thanksgiving meal. Today we are gonna look at the NFC. The four divisions and the 16 teams that make up the divisions. Tomorrow its the AFC, and the next day will be the awards and category predictions.
Lets start with the lackluster NFC WEST.
St. Louis Rams: I think every Rams fan is trying to forget the 1-15 2009 season. The Rams had the 29th ranked offense and defense. No wonder you only win one game. This year they are putting all their hopes on rookie QB Sam Bradford.
2010 Prediction: I feel bad for Sam Bradford. I really do. They did try and help the offense but no help to the Defense or O-line. Do you remember in 3 Ninjas when the kids grandpa was teaching them where to hit to make a big guy go down. If they hit the dummy in a certain spot the eyes would light up. Sam Bradford is that dummy. I think the Rams do improve from 1-15 to 2-14. They come in dead last again. They will be the NFC’s Bitch. 10 years ago, The Greatest Show on Turf. 10 years later, The Biggest Hoes on Turf.
Seattle Seahawks: The Seahawks finished the 09 season with a record of 5-11. They were ranked 21st in offense and 24th in defensive. They fired their coach and replaced him with Mr. Fuck over USC and leave before the shit starts on me. Pete Carroll. What piece of crap. Im sorry, Seattle but there are so many coaches that could have been better than this guy. He cut one of leagues top receivers in T.J. Houshmandzadeh.
2010 Predictions: Seattle will be looking for a new coach soon. My advice do it before he does something illegal and gets you suspended from playing in The Hall Of Fame Game. Matt Hassleback is so injury prone. He will be on the injured list as soon as he walks through the tunnel. Step on a crack, Hurt will be Hassleback. Seahawks finish 4-12. Did I mention Pete Carroll Sucks.
The San Francisco 49ers. 8-8 in 2009. My god alert the media two teams in NFC West not having losing records. I’m thinking the its the end of the world as we know it. (the REM reference is because that I think they will be halftime performers) The 49ers Offense ranked 27th but their defense is what won them games last season. The D ranked 15th in the league. Adding Ted Ginn Jr. will make the offense more of a threat.
2010 Predictions: All the pieces are in place. Second year under head coach Mike Singletary. Crabtree will be playing a whole season. This team looks scary on paper. The 9ers wii improve on last years record and finish 1st in the NFC west at 10-6.
Arizona Cardinals: In 2009 they finished 10-6. Offense was the mentality last season with veteran QB Kurt Warner at the lead. Warner is gone, Boldin is gone. The pieces they had in the super bowl run have disappeared. So the pressure fell on College sensation and pompous ass Matt Lienart. Where is he now doing the I’m a Pro Bust Shuffle in Houston. Former Cleveland QB Derek Anderson gets the start for the Cards. This time he has a target that doesn’t have a case of the, Oops I didn’t mean to drop it.
2010 Prediction: I think Larry Fitzgerald is one of the best wide outs in the NFL. The man can catch a ball quicker than some hookers catch syphilis. Can he carry this team on his own? Teams will be gunning for him all year long. I think the cards finish 7-9. This is a small rebuilding year. They will be back near the top very very soon. But not this year.
NFC West Standings at season end.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Finished the 09 season 3-13. Lead by former K-State QB Josh Freeman. Tampa Bay is being rebuilt like a home on Extreme Makeover. The only problem is that its a slower build than Ty Pennington can do.. One of the key losses for the Bucs isWR Antonio Bryant. Their Defense and Offense ranked 27th and 28th respectively last season. So they can only go up from here, Right?
2010 Predictions: WRONG, This may be the toughest division in the NFC and maybe the NFL. When you have the former Super Bowl Champs, and the rising Falcons. You are guaranteed a good 4 losses already. If Cadillac can stay healthy they have a chance at 5 wins. But I feel they finish 3-13 again.
Carolina Panthers: Finished 8-8 in 2009. This is another team in a rebuilding stage, As many teams in this process, You would think the main NFL sponsor would be Habitat For Humanity. The best thing the Panthers done was get rid of Captain Interception Jake Delhomme. Can Jimmy Clausen be enough to help the Panthers win more than 8 games this season?
2010 Prediction: When you lose Julius Peppers, And Mushin Muhammad, You won’t be as good. Two key players gone from your team. They still Steve smith and DeAngelo Williams. I feel that the Panthers will finish with a wowing 6-10. I feel like I’m being optimistic on that.
Atlanta Falcons: 2009 finished with a 9-7 record. The defense finished 21st in the NFL last season and the O placed 16th. They had no key losses or additions. Will they be able to stand behind they hype the Falcons are getting for this season.
2010 Predictions: Matt Ryan, Micheal Turner, Tony Gonzalez, and Rowdy Roddy as your main offense, the Falcons are ready to soar. The defense will be much approved over last year. I think the Falcons pull the upset and win the division with a record of 12-4. Matt Ryan will have an amazing season. If he isnt on your fantasy team pick his ass up.
The New Orleans Saints: 13-3 and Super Bowl Champs. They are the reigning champs of the world. The number one offense in the league a year ago makes up for the lackluster defense they have. They did lose running back Mike Bell, But still have 2005 H****** T***** Winner Reggie Bush. Darren Sharper returns from an amazing season on the other side of the ball. Can they repeat as champs?
2010 Predictions: The Saints are gonna be hard to beat. They will be still riding the momentum from winning the Super Bowl. Drew Brees will have another stellar season. Tonight they play the Vikings at home and should win this game and start the season right. The Saints will make the playoffs but will finish with a record of 11-5. Who Dat Nation will not be disappointed with this season either.
NFC South Standings at Season End
Detroit Lions: The Lions finished better than I thought they would with a 2-14 record. The lions finished with 26th best offense in the League. They also had the worst defense in the league. The upside is that they weren’t the worst team in the league. It is Matthew Stafford’s sophomoric season, with a year under his belt sh will be ready to step up and lead the lions. They picked up WR Nate Burleson and TE Tony Scheffler to go with Calvin Johnson. They have put more weapons around their franchise QB. Plus having a great draft is Detroit primed and ready for the big time.
2010 Predictions: I think the pieces are starting to be put in place. And with Matt Millen being gone at least they didn’t use their draft pick on a gaggle of wide outs with no talent. They are stepping in the right direction. I’m taking a huge shot in the dark. But Detroit fans give the Rams or Browns your paper sacks. I think the Lions will finish with a 5-11 record.
Chicago Bears: The Bears finished with a record of 7-9 last season. The cutler lead offense finished 23rd overall in the league. The Bears D slipped from a couple of years ago finishing in a dismal 17th. They did pick up Julius Peppers to help the D. But still no help for Cutler.
2010 Prediction: Until they realize they have QB with a cannon and put some help around him they are going to get worse. The D is getting old and will soon be joining Farve on the Players with Walkers committee. Lovie Smith is in some major trouble with his job. I think he will become a statistic on the unemployed Americans chart. I think the Bears play more like the Cubs. They finish 4-12.
Green Bay Packers: The cheese heads finished 11-5 last season. The Packers Offense And Defense were ranked 6th and 2nd respectively. The packers were one of the elite teams last season. Brett Farve 1st retirement was one of the best things to happen to the Pack.
2010 Predictions: Aaron Rogers to Greg Jennings, Get used to hearing that this season. It will sound like a broken record to teams with a bad pass defense. This team is going to be an offensive juggernaut. The defense still looks stout and could be the leagues best. The only thing standing in their way to greatness the Vikes. The Pack will have the best record in the league this season at 13-3.
Minnesota Vikings: The Vikes finished 13-3 in 09. Farve retires comes back, Retires comes back again, Bret Farve is the equivalent of Terry Funk in pro wrestling. The Vikings had one the best offense and defenses in the league. Farve does make the Vikings better but will it be enough.
2010 Predictions: Farve makes them better but if they don’t win it all, Brad Childress will be joinging Lovie Smith at the soup kitchen. They can keep hoping on the geriatric miracle Farve to get them to the promise land. The Viking will have a winning record and make the playoff, because they still Have a defense lead by Jared Allen, Oh did I mention some mediocre player named Adrian Peterson. Vikings finish 11-5.
NFC North Season Standings Predictions
Washington Redskins: Finished the 09 campaign with a 4-12 record. They had some spring cleaning and took care of some dead weight, But they still have Haynesworth. They pick one of the all time best NFL coaches in Mike Shanahan. He lead the Broncos to the promised land twice. The Redskins offense was lead by an ok Jason Campbell, but now is lead by one of the best Qbs never to win the big one, Donovan Mcnabb. They also picked up former Chiefs Running back, Mr. Larry (how fast were you going meow) Johnson. Is this enough to make the redskins turn it around.
2010 Predictions: This is not the year to bank on the Skins. They will be improved over last year but not good enough. I think next year we can start talking Skins playoff run. The Skins will finish with a much improved 7-9 record.
New York Giants: The Giants had a horrible last season in their minds finishing with an o.k. 8-8. The Giants had a good ranked offense and a middle of the road defense last season. No really key pick up or losses in the off season.
2010 Predictions: Can you tell that the Giants are the most boring team in The NFL. Writing this one made me kinda sleepy. The Giants will be the same as last season. The will finish 6-10. Until, they pull their heads out of their ass and find some key players. They will keep slipping.
Philadelphia Eagles: The Eagles finished 11-5 last season. They lose their franchise Quarterback Mcnabb, and he is replaced with Kevin (Corn) Kolb. Losing your star running back as well will not work in the Eagles favor. Mcnabb as QB they had the 11th best offense and the 12th best defense. The only addition the Eagles made was picking up Mr. Kendra Wilkinson, Hank Baskett. Get rid of on WR with a reality show and pick up another. Good Job Philly.
2010 Prediction: The Eagles are gonna have some growing pains but not as bad as Mike Seaver. They will be average this season. Andy Reid will have his team ready to play but they will lose a few really close games. The Eagles get to have an 8-8 season.
Dallas Cowboys: The Boys finished with a rootin tootin 11-5. The second best offense in the NFL last season. The defense was ranked 9th at the end of the season. Wade Phillips finally won his first playoff game last season. The biggest pick up in the off season was the addition of rookie Dez Bryant. Where will Da boys end up?
2010 Prediction: The Cowboys by far will be the best NFC East team. They are built for the now. The two running back set of Barber and Jones is going to be hard to contain. Romo weapons have become more Lethal with Rookie Dez Bryant. Wade Phillips is on the hot seat as well. If they don’t win it all or come close to win it all, Say hello to the unemployment line. The Cowboys will finish the season 12- 4.
NFC East End Of Season Standings
That is the NFC Preview. Coming tomorrow the AFC Preview.