The season is underway. The “Are you ready for some Football” song is stuck in my head, I really hope you enjoyed yesterdays NFC preview. Today, will be looking at the red conference. The republicans come in, wait a sec wrong blog. Today lets take a look at the AFC.
Buffalo Bills: The Bills had a weak 6-10 season in 09. They had 30th ranked offense in the league. No surprise there. The D was ranked 19th in the league overall. The bills biggest loss in players was Mr. Stand on The Star in Dallas and Get fined, Terrell Owens. The biggest key edition to the Bills is rookie running back C.J. Spiller.
2010 Predictions: Seriously other than Lee Evans can anyone name a Bills player. The Bills starting QB is hell if I know. Let’s say he is The Masked Magician from the Magic Biggest Secrets Revealed shows. They desperately need to find a QB in Buffalo. I think Jim Kelly might be free. Maybe they can bring back Thurman Thomas as well. Teams that have the Bills on their schedule are partying like its 1999. The Bills will fall to depths of league jokes. Bills fans ask some Lions fancs for advice on how to cope. You will need it. They finish with a record of 3-13
Miami Dolphins: Coming off an awesome 2008 season the Fins finish 7-9 in the East. There offense and defense were both average last season. They might have lost Joey Porter and Jason Taylor on D. But, on the other side of the ball they pick up one of the most talented receivers in the game, Brandon Marshall.
2010 Prediction: The Dolphins are gonna be explosive. They will be very scary this season. Chad Henne, in my opinion, will be a fantasy steal. He now has an amazing target who caught a lot of passes off an average QB in Denver last season. I am going out on a limb and say the Dolphins will be doing the harpooning instead of the other way around. The Fighting Fish will finish with a record of 11-5 and win the division.
New England Patriots: Finished 09 with a record of 10-6. The Tom (I was in a car accident and got my new contract cause ownership felt sorry for me. Thank you All State. You were like a good neighbor) Brady lead offense finished 3rd in the league. The pats D finished a pleasing 11th overall last season. On a side note, have you ever heard someone getting into a car wreck and getting a new deal. If this was the case every time Ben Roethlisberger would have been a billionaire after the motorcycle injury. The players the Pats lost were replaced by even older ones.
2010 Prediction: Yes, they have Tom Brady. They have the most unemotional coach in the history of football and the bedroom. That guy has to be the Ultimate Buzz Kill in life.. Belichick is one of hell of a coach but damn it, Show some passion. I feel so sorry for his wife but I digress. I know they have those two but age is gonna catch up to the Pats this year. Their inability to try put younger players on the team will make them a mediocre 8-8
New York Jets: The J E T S, JETS JETS JETS, finished last season with a record of 9-7. The Jets offense were ranked 20th and was lead by QB Mark (dirty) Sanchez. The jets had the best defense in the league in 2009. The pick up WR Santonio Holmes and more importantly former Chargers Franchise player LaDainian Tomlinson. It LT enough to get the Jets over the hump this year.
2010 prediction: Did anyone watch Hard Knocks on HBO. Rex Ryan the outspoken coach of the Jets kinda put the bulls-eye on his team. The target is so big that Lindsay Lohan could be able to do two lines of coke off of it and not feel a thing. The Jets D will still one of the toughest in the league with Darrelle Revis back from his little bitch throwing fit. The Offense will be better with addition LT. He brings his leadership to the team. I think Jets are gonna have a good season and finish with a respectable 10-6.
AFC EAST Standings Predicted by me.
Cleveland Browns: The Browns finished 5-11 in their 2009 campaign. They had the worst offense and the second worst defense in the league last season. They lost what they claimed were starting Qbs in Derek Anderson and Brady Quinn. They do pick a guy that did start in a Super Bowl, however that was almost 10 years ago and now he is Captain Interception Jake Delhomme. They also pick former fullback from the Bronco Peyton Hillis to add that god awful Offense.
2010 prediction: The only was the Browns will be making the Super Bowl is if someone Shits. Question to Cleveland Fans, How in the blue hell did you win 5 games last season? This is gonna be a bad year for Cleveland. First you lose Lebron and now your football team is gonna go 2-14. You know you are on a bad team when, the first game of the Season is Blacked Out.
Pittsburgh Steelers: Finished 9-7 in the 2009 season. The Steelers had one of the top Defense and Offenses in the league last season. They lose WR Holmes and RB Willie Parker. Those were two of the main cogs in the Steelers offense during the last couple of years. Will the Steelers be able to return to greatness?
2010 Prediction: Not this year!!! The off season shenanigans by Ben Roethlisberger will put a damper on Pittsburghs season. Not only did he allegedly rape a girl, He also raped his offense. The defense will still be the same smash mouth D we love to see. Cause of Roth being suspended 4 games, The Steelers will finish 2010 season 6-10
Baltimore Ravens: Finished 2009 with a record of 9-7. They ranked 13th in offense and 3rd in defense. The Ravens have really improved on the offensive side of the ball by picking up former Cards wide out Boldin. They also added TJ Houshmandzadeh from the Seahawks. The Ravens running game is one of the best in the league. Add this with that blistering Defense, How good will Baltimore be?
2010 Prediction: The two biggest movers in the off season were the Raven and Bengals. These two teams will be battling for the top spot. Joe Flacco is gonna have his best year to date. Look at the weapons he has around him. He will also be a hell of a fantasy pick up. This team is gonna be scary and think they will finish with a record of 12-4. Quoth the Ravens nevermore.
Cincinnati Bengals: Finished last year at 10-6 and won the division. They had the 24th ranked offense in the league last season. Did they improve in the off season or what? They really added some key players, WR Antonino Bryant, WR Matt Jones and some wide out named Terrell Owens. Add that with the offense already in place, Palmer, Benson and OchoCinco. What an offense. The defense last year ranked 4th in the league. Can this team improve their record from last season?
2010 Prediction: Hell Yeah they can. TO and Ocho Cinco are the best friends and what an amazing one,two punch. Like I said Cinci and Baltimore will be battling all season long for that first place spot. If Carson Palmer stays healthy they can win it all. This is one of the best teams in the league. I feel sorry for Pittsburgh and not so much for Cleveland. The Bengals will finish tied with the Ravens at 12-4 but have have the tie break and win the division.
AFC North Season Stand Predictions
Kansas City Chiefs: The chiefs had a horrible 09 season having a record of 4-12. The Chiefs had the 25th ranked offense in 09. They do help their cause by adding RB Thomas Jones, who had a terrific season for the Jets last year. They also add veteran Center Casey Wiegmann. However, the biggest edition to the Chiefs, were the new Offense and Defensive coordinators Charlie Weis and Romeo Crennel. They had success with the Pats during their tremendous Super Bowl run. Romeo will be calling plays for the 30th ranked defense in 09. Where will the Chiefs end up this season?
2010 Prediction: This is absolutely the worst division in the NFL. I think the Rick Moranis lead Little Giants could whoop up on all 4 team in this division this year. Icebox sacking Matt Cassel or Jason Campbell. I would chuckle. I do think the Chiefs will have a better season than last year. But hey that doesn’t take much. The Chiefs will improve under Todd Haley to 7-9.
Oakland Raiders: The Raiders surprisingly won 5 games in 09. I will just say it now. They wont do that again. The Raiders did add underachieving Jason Campbell to replace (the I looked good in a bowl game so draft me high) JeMarcus Russell. Campbell gets to lead the 31st ranked offense last year. Again, How can these teams win more than 4 games? I am confused like a bisexual in an orgy. Oakland had the 26th ranked defense in 09.
2010 Prediction: The Raiders suck more then a lot lizard at a truck stop. The raiders will never be good until Al Davis dies. I know that sounds awful but come on. He has fired as many coaches as I have had sexual partners. Tom Cable, you better start putting your application in at Wal Mart. You would be one hell of a greeter. The Raiders have the biggest collection of non talented fast people I have seen since I was at a middle school track meet. The Raiders finish 3-13
Denver Broncos: The Broncos started the 09 season 6-0. They finished the 09 season 8-8. There is something really wrong with this picture. Why do fire your O Coordinator when you are 6-0 and start calling the plays yourself. Can you please answer that Josh Mcdaniels? The Bronco offense was 15th in the league, and was lead the mundane Kyle Orton. Orton had a good season but he also had Brandon Marshall as a target. The Denver defense which is lead by Champ Bailey finished with the 7th ranked D. What will Denver do this year?
2010 Prediction: I have been thinking really hard on this one. They have a lot of talent on this team. I think the addition of Tim Tebow is a great one. He is a leader like no one had seen in college football for a long time. His presence will be felt it just won’t be this season. This is to Josh McDaniels. What in the hell were you thinking. You had your franchise QB and Receiver on your team and you alienated them. Your number one receiver is washed up like my socks. I am kinda shocked you weren’t the one who reunited Weis and Crennel. You are slowly turning on of the most historic franchises in football into the Patriots 2.0 Just remember every coordinator always has a decent first season but their second season the fall faster than a dad being hit in the nuts on AFV. I think your Sith Lord mind tricks won’t work this season and after the Pats 2.0 go 5-11, you will be joining a long list a Belichick failures.
San Diego Chargers: Finished in 09 with a record of 13-3. The Chargers offense lead by QB Phillip Rivers finished with the 10th best offense in the league. The get rid of LT in the off season. The Chargers have started to move in a new direction. They are looking towards the younger players to carry them to the promised land. The San Diego ranked 16th in D last season. They did pick up Nathan Vasher at Corner. Will the Charger repeat in AFC West?
2010 Prediction: How could they not? The weak teams they should just dismantle. They at least go 5-1 in the division. They will be good but not the big one good. I don’t think Chargers will get there till Norv Turner is replaced, until that happens they will keep falling in the playoffs. Chargers finish with a record of 10-6
AFC WEST End Of Season Predictions
Jacksonville Jaguars: Jacksonville finished with a 7-9 record. They had a middle of the road offense and defense last season. I
2010 Prediction: Jacksonville should have a THE REST OF THIS PREDICTION HAS BEEN BLACKED OUT DUE TO NO ONE CARING ABOUT THE JAGS. 4-12
Tennessee Titans: The Titans finished with a .500 record in 09. The Titans offense ranked 12th last season. They were carried on the legs of star running back Chris Johnson. He had a tremendous 09 with over 2000 yards rushing. The defense came in a dismal 28th in 09.
2010 Prediction: Jeff Fisher is one of the best coaches in the league. He will find a way to bring his team back from the bottom. This year Vince Young is taking snaps once again. Defense are cringing at the thought of having to of the best rushers in the NFL to stop. Tennessee is going to be hard to figure out on the offensive side of the ball and should lead them to a 9-7 season.
Houston Texans: Houston finished 09 with a 9-7 record. This team is one piece away from figuring it out. They had the 4th best offense in the NFL last year. Lead by QB Matt Schaub and WR Andre Johnson. This a left, right combination that gives defenses hell. The running game gets a little bit better with Arian Foster getting the starting nod. The defense finished the 09 campaign with 13th best defense in the league. Can Houston improve?
2010 Prediction: The Texans are the most underrated team in the NFL. The have all aspects of the game coming together at the right time. Kubiack is is taking a team that no one thought would ever be good and turning them into a contender. The biggest obstacle standing in their way is the Colts. If they can figure out how to beat them twice in a season. They are destined to make a run at the playoffs. The Texans will finish 12-4 and win the division this season.
Indianapolis Colts: The Colts finish with a record of 14-2 and won the AFC Championship in 09. Lead by the most dangerous QB in the league Peyton ( I am no mere) Manning, the Colts were the 9th best offense in the league last year. When Peyton is on the field, you never know what can happen. The Colts Defense ranked a mediocre 18th in 09. This season however they will have a healthy Bob Sanders which changes the ways offenses will attack the Colts. Will the Colts be as dominant in 2010?
2010: If you think I am gonna say no, You are a bigger idiot than my friend who thinks Denver wins it all. The Colts are gonna be Just as good as last year. I think Peyton will be playing a a chip on his shoulder all season long. He wants to make up for losing in the Super Bowl. Which will hurt him in the long run The Colts finish 11-5
AFC SOUTH End Of Season Predictions
That is your predictions for the AFC. However the crystal ball still has some predictions left, Stay tuned for Postseason, Awards, and Categories predictions.