I am a very lonely red blooded American male. It kinda sucks on some days and some days it’s Awesome with a capital A. We single males have a few ways of dealing with this issue. Going to a bar and finding a Booty Call. Not my recommendation. You might take home a girl that looks Taylor Swift at night and wake up to a girl that looks the 12 President of the United States Zachary Taylor. Not a good thing. Not at all. You could buy a blow up doll. This is an ok idea unless you are one of those single males who owns a cat. Right in the middle of giving pleasure to your inflatable goddess, the cat decides to pounce it. And POP goes the inflatable pussy named after the girl you are crushing on. ( For the record: I do not have, I repeat for those in the nose bleed section. I DO NOT HAVE an inflatable doll named after my crush. It’s a wash cloth.) The third option is Craigslist. If you want a case of Sabre Tooth Crotch Crickets not the best option. 4th option and what I deem the easiest way to not feel lonely, A Strip Club. Don’t we all love some strippers. Supporting single moms Rule. The next time I go into a strip club, I want the lap dance I paid for to be today’s Retro Video. This song just sounds like the ultimate grind on crotch song. Today I present to you the 1990 hit Black Velvet by Alannah Myles
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