A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away. That pretty much means 5 years ago in Missouri. There was something I was wanting really bad. No, it wasn’t sex. You dirty minded people. And it wasn’t food. Go straight for the fat jokes. Simpletons. It was knowing what a real family was like. My mom (My grandma raised me she will always be my mother) wasn’t in good health, In all honesty, many on her side of the family wasn’t in good health. They were all getting up there in age. I wanted to feel like I was part of something.
I remember a story. I was riding to one of my exes softball games with her parents. They were grilling me with questions. You know how parents can be when you start dating. Well, they asked me about my family. I told them “ If I tell you this don’t be upset with me.” Looking back on it maybe I should have worded that just a little differently. “Do you know I am jealous of you guys.” I actually said the word jealous to a teenage girls parents. Alert the media. They replied “of what?” I said “ You have a family/ You guys to something for every occasion, whether it be for holidays or birthdays. I have always wanted to be part of something like you guys have.” They shot that down quicker than a plane in a no fly zone.”It’s not as nice as it appears. We fight a lot. Family is good and bad.” I will never forget that conversation. I thought they were wrong. I still do on that but they were also right too.
This it titled the More Things Change for a reason. I now have a family. I love some of them to death. Hell, a sibling of mine is one of my besties. It really saddens me to say this. The more they stay the same. I still kinda have the same feeling about a family that I did. I have experienced a lot of heart ache and pain over the last 21 months. I still am going through drama and now its with something I have always wanted. Family drama. I still don’t feel like I belong. Did I bite off more than I can chew?
Maybe, I have had what I wanted for the longest time. It just took me this long to realize it. Anyone who knows me personally, has heard me say my friends are like family. Im wrong. MY FRIENDS my family as well. We are one weird family but a family none the less. I would list names but I would be here till the end of an all night marathon of The Lord of The Rings movies. Plus, then people would find out the girls I like when there name isn’t mentioned. That would just be easy ammo. I’m not easy.
Whether we are blood or Friends, Family is what we make it.