Well, bitches it’s been a pretty mild week around here. I keep havin’ to deal with Richie and his love sickness. How a man can be love sick and bangin four different hoes is beyond me. That’s right four. Groupies. Gag me with a spoon.
But anyways this common chick ain’t got much to say so I thought we’d play a game. Alright boys, calm down not that kind of game. You know how to get a hold of me if you do. You, yeah you behind tubby. Stick around. Anyways here’s the game I am going to give you a list of events you pick what is true and what is fiction. Okay? Alrighty then let’s get this fucking dance party started.
*I am actually a middle aged chain smoker with more babies’ daddies than Maury could test.
*I lost my virginity to Def Lepards’s drummer. At least that’s what he said at the time.
*I didn’t know what beaver meant till I was twenty.
*Richard was actually my brother, I just didn’t know it till after we kissed.
*I was engaged three different times. Once to a pimp, once to a soon to be priest(had him praying out loud several times), and once to a guy who looked exactly like lead singer of Poison, Bret Micheals until he threw me off a bus.
* I use to believe in true love, then I decided I liked to fuck better.
*When I was seven I got my first kiss, and it was all down hill from there.
* My cell number actually spells out bitch queen.
*I am honestly just a hard working guy looking to get laid by showing my feminine side.
*I don’t reciprocate oral.
*I am a virgin.