I was going through some of my old things. I love going on this kick where I can remember some of the best memories of yesteryear. Well, I found my old wallet. The first thing I do is check to see if any money is in it. HAHA. I’m a writer and a comic so I have better odds of Mr. Moneybags from Monopoly fucking me in the ass. I was looking through some of the old business cards when I came across something I had forgot about. That’s right a condom. Exp. date 2004. Attached to this condom was a note. the note said, Use me when you get to bang, The next woman that will be inducted into The Hall Of Hotties is:
That condom said use on Anne Hathaway. Anne is a 27 year old actress and a future ex wife of mine. She became a household name with the Princess Diaries. (Cheap Joke in 5…4…3…2…1) I have a thing for Brunettes which is why I would love to be entry in her Princess Diaries.(end of cheap joke) Ok. Favorite scene in that movie is where she is trying to put on pantyhose in the backseat of the limo. Why do you ask? Cause damn it! It turned me on in ways that I can’t explain. Her other hit movies were Hoodwinked, The Devil Wears Prada, Rachel getting Married, and the movie title that bluntly say that she should be able to see me, Get Smart.
And now the Buzz Kill Blog would like to present Perverted Dr. Seuss about Anne Hathaway.
I would fuck Anne in a box
I would fuck her in my socks
I would fuck her on the docks
I would fuck her while listening to Coldplay sing Clocks
I would Fuck her while being on top of a building made from Blocks
I would fuck her with sack of fake cocks
Thus concludes this version of perverted Dr. Seuss.
I would like to welcome my future Ex Wife Anne Hathaway into the Hall Of Hotties. Miss Hathaway, I am better in bed than the douche bag you were with.