First comes a cheap Plug. Looking for the perfect Christmas Gift something that is funny with no taste. Visit the Craving Humor Store or pick up my first album Sarcastically Sophisticated for the perfect Christmas gift. (Just click the red words to be taken to a dream world of magic.)We have taken care of our sponsors. Let’s get back to our Regular Scheduled Hottie.

I was sitting here going through my hours and hours of porn. I must be one of the few weird people in the world. Once the “actress” gets completely naked, I turn it off unless she is wearing socks. I have this massive foot Phobia. I can not stand having someone’s bare feet touch me. If that happens, I am taking at least 15 and 1/4 showers. Doctors like to refer to it as the Danny Tanner Syndrome. Germs are bad. I don’t what it is about a foot but they make me gag. Kinda weird isn’t it. Socks on at all times. That is my rule. Well, that rule would apply for the next introduction into the Hall.

Zooey Deschanel

My second biggest celebrity crush and the woman I will grow old with. Yeah, you heard that. Someday. Zooey is an actress and musician. Most people will know her as the guitar player from The New Guy or the singing department store worker from Elf. What i wouldn’t give to dress like Santa Claus and show her my little helper. Get your mind out of the gutter. Someone has to. It sure as hell isn’t going to be me. She was in the film version of The Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy. This proves just one thing. I LOVE NERDY GIRLS. If you are a nerdy girl email me. I’m lonely! Don’t Judge Me. She starred in the Sci Fy original mini series Tin Man. Remember the flying monkeys? I would let her spank my one stationary monkey and How. i would also be her Yes Man. She could ask me to do anything and all I can say is yes. YES YES. and one more YES! Zooey formed the band She & Him and had the 2008 hit Why Do You Let Me Stay Here? I will tell you cause you are FOOKING HOTTTTTTT. We welcome Zooey into the Hall Of Hotties. Zooey if you read this. Please Marry Me. I would give my middle testicle just to be married to you for 24 hours or life. I like the second option better.