I am Stick Figure Dan and I am better than you. The fat bastard has taken some time away from the blog and guess who he left in charge? That is right, the best writer we have. Justin. Wanna know why he is the best? Cause he never fucking writes. well, since he isn’t here, I am in charge. Welcome to the Mother Fucking Dan Show!

The Stay Puft Marshmallow Man left me a few notes. I really didn’t feel like writing the next edition of The Drunk Files. I don’t know how The “Murph” having butt sex with a Rodeo Clown in a barrel would be good reading. That is almost like watching an episode of Oprah with closed captioning. YAWN! He told me to do a Retro Music Video! Fuck that. How many cheesy 80s and 90s song can one blog have? If you want the answer, count how many Retro Vids we have done and add another 100. He listens to the worst music possible. Have you ever seen a fat guy try to do the Axel Rose dance. I have and I wanted to stab out my eyes with a spork. So that leaves me with one thing. We need a new member in the Hall Of Hotties.

Lois Griffin. The sexy mother off the wonderful reality show Family Guy. I don’t want to hear, Its animated. I am animated so it’s reality tv for me. Lois is one freaky bitch. She can go from mild mannered mom to sex kitten faster than Richard can eat a cookie. If I lived in Quahog, she would have the happiest clam there. She looks like the type of girl who likes to be tied up and humiliated. Than, in a split second do the same thing to you. Safety word is Banana. Plus how cool would it be to say you have fucked someone who has fucked Kiss. Glen wants her. Hell, the fucking dog wants her. It just proves that she is a piece of USDA Grade A Ass. Lois, I welcome you into the Hall of Hotties or as I like to call it, Richard’s Fantasy Ranch