It’s the most wonderful time of year. People drinking way to much eggnog and taking off their clothes at the company Christmas Party.  There will always be that image of Whitney humping the fiber-optic tree. We still can’t find that little tree. During these fun times, Christmas songs will always be playing in the background no matter where you. I know there are the great traditional classics but some of those ARE COMPLETE SHIT. Here is a list of Top 7 Worst Traditional Christmas Songs.

Let us kick off with the Fucking Chipmunks. Yes Alvin, Simon, and the fat one. I don’t rally know is name. No one really cares about him either. If I had my way, I would boot Dave in his Chipmunks. I think that the only part of this song that people know is Me, I want a Hula Hoop. I think for Christmas I am gonna ask for a copy of this song and a lighter.


The Christmas Song. I get scared every time I hear the line Chestnuts Roasting on an open fire, my balls start to panic. My balls have went on a small strike, just thinking about it. Jack Frost must be really into me since he keeps nipping at me. 

I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus. How would you feel if you were 10 came down stairs and saw your Mom getting it on with old Saint Nick? Years of Therapy won’t be able to help you. You will be the first 11 year old to become Alcoholic. I have more on Santa Coming very soon.


All I want Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth. A Christmas song that makes fun of people with a lisp. Good Job Christmas song writer. And to add, I was young once, I wanted as many gifts as I could get. This kid singing is lying through the hole where is front teeth was. I call BS that all he wants is his two front teeth. That bastard wants a Nintendo DS with Hannah Montana game. Trying to act less selfish so he can get more presents. Damn, makes me wish I thought of it.

Jingle Bells By The Jingle Dogs. Normally I would have something witty. But its dogs barking Jingle Bells. Shoot ME. I wonder how many treats it took to get them to do this. I wonder if there was alot of dry humping? Crazy Bitches.
White Christmas By Bing Crosby. Damn, This man has the most boring voice in the world. I have found the cure for insomnia and its this song. Just writing this is making me drowsomgsdddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddgffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff Sorry I fell asleep with my head on key board.
Little Drummer Boy. Hey look who it is, It’s The man who causes Silent Nights, Bing Crosby. When listening to Christmas songs on the radio and this song comes on I think of one rum pum pum pum,
rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum FUCK.

Those are the top 5 Worst Traditional Christmas Songs. Now I am gonna go take a nap.

About the author

TBK Magazine

The smartest dumbest site on the net!!!