First of all, Hope everyone’s holiday season was awesome! I hope each and everyone of you enjoyed our 13 days of Christmas. I think our break is over. Time to get back to normal and no more sweets. Unless it’s me that is the sweet and then it’s ok.
I think we all have the dream and wish of being rich beyond our wildest dreams. One of the ways we try to accomplish this playing the lottery. What is a quicker way to becoming a millionaire overnight.
I was watching the news to see if any of my family had been arrested this week. Luckily, the answer to that question was no. I kept watching. What can I say, I am a glutton for punishment. At least it was the local news and I can look at the hot weather girl. They were talking about the Mega Millions Jackpot being up to 330 million. That’s a lot of Little Debbie Snack cakes. I have decided to purchase a ticket. I know the odds are awful. I think my odds of getting laid are better. Which is kinda sad!
330 Million is not chump change. Can’t forget taxes. So after Uncle Sam gets done raping you without lube, that leaves with around 200 mill. Holy Ravioli, Batman. I was thinking what would I do with all this money if I won. I have came up with a list of a few things. Some are sweet and kind and others are just stupid as the Kardashians.
1. Pay Off All my bills. Hey, this one is really practicable and smart. With that much money, if you have debt hanging over your head, you shouldn’t be able to reproduce. After this one, Each thing I would is in no particular order.
2. I would pay for the Murph to ramp a motorcycle out of a plane. This id honestly what the main character in The Drunk Files said he would do. Now, before any of you try to jump my ass for this, there is a method to my madness. Before he jumps, I would take out a 10 million dollar life insurance policy on him. His beneficiary would be me. Wow, saying it doesn’t look as bad as it does on paper.
3. I would build or buy the perfect house. Now, what makes it the perfect house you ask. Simple, A urinal in the bathroom. That way I wont get yelled at if the seat is somehow left up and one of my many female friends fall in.
4 .Buy Female Friends
5. The Ultimate gaming room. Complete with all consoles, An arcade style Pac man and Galaga game, Pinball machines, Air Hockey table (I am an air hockey champion damn it!) Poker table, and finally two pool tables. One for pool and the other one to have sex on.
6. A room of nothing but 24 packs of Pepsi and Hot Wings.
7. The most important thing I would do is (Drum Roll) I would help all the people that have been there for me through all the tough times I have had in the past couple of years. I think they deserve it more than I do. The nights I was pissed off at the world or the nights I cried from losing it all. I would help them. My friends, My family, and Justin.
I think that about does it for my list. Maybe I will get lucky tomorrow night and win the damn thing. If I do, I will not be back till February 2012