I am not normally one to pour out emotions on the internet. I know what some people will say. Showing emotion is a sign of weakness. Well, then I am the biggest puss on the planet. My heart has been over filled to the brim with stress lately. It’s two things really. One of them is my mother. My mother has been battling Alzheimer disease for the past two years. I haven’t been able to see for almost a year now. Her health isn’t getting any better. It is killing me not being there for the woman who raised me. I wish I could just get up and go myself but I can’t. My health would never let me make the trip alone. I did at one point think about stealing a car and trying to get there Thelma and Louise style.However, knowing my luck it would end up more like Too Wong Foo. I love my mother. I really do feel like a bad son for not getting there to see her. Hopefully Soon!

The other thing that is on my mind and in my heart is my best friend. She is the most amazing woman I have ever met in my entire life. She is willing to help out anyone at the drop of the hat. I would say about 4 months ago, I fell in love. God, Do i sound like I am in middle school or what?  A feeling I try not to have much anymore. The reason is the danger that it could cause.  I had fallen for someone very close to me before and it ended up badly. What I feel for her I can’t explain. If I did lose her my world would be turned upside down. Not in a good way, like in that A*Teens song. No, Today’s retro video is not gonna be the A*Teens. sorry to let you down.

 I want to break down my favorite bible verse. I am not huge into religion but this makes a lot of sense to me. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. Love is Patient. I wish Patience was a virtue I had. Is that something you can buy that on Ebay? I have waited my entire life to find someone that made me happy. I haven’t felt like me since everything happened in 2009. I have been very depressed for awhile. Then, I met you. You are all I constantly think about. Well, you and bundt cake. I am fat don’t judge me. And my dumb ass, wants everything now. I am like a kid in a Build A Bear. I want them all and now. I can’t help but feel that way cause I am a giant kid sometimes. Maybe being raised as an only child makes it hard for me to have patience. I will conquer this. I promise you this. Love is kind. When I get down you know just exactly what to say to pick me up. You can accept me on my good days, just as much as my bad days. That means more to me than any materialistic possession I have ever had and will ever have. Kind is a word that you show more of, than anything. If you didn’t you wouldn’t be you. It does not envy. I am not an easily jealous person. However, with you I am. I am really easy going and usually don’t worry about a thing. With you, I turn more green than the Incredible Hulk. I have to work on that. I am tired of ripping clothes and shoes. It does not boast and is not proud. This one I am throwing out the window. I am proud to have you in my life. I am proud to call you my best friend. I am proud that you make me smile when I am sad. I am proud that each day, I know that you are there. I may not act like it, I am. I need you, like I need Pepsi. And yes I do need my pepsi.

They always say that you will meet someone like your mother. This is why I don’t go to truck stops. However, like my grandmother. The woman who did raise me and I do call mom. The one I am worried about and is sick. Yeah, She is like her. My dream girl couldn’t even compare to her. I hope that you know how I feel. Now that we got all the mushy crap in writing form let us put all that mushy crap in music form. From 1998 here is the K-Ci and JoJo hit All My Life.

I love you both! And you too Justin

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