Why does an almost 27 year old male still watch Nickelodeon? You think it might be for Spongebob Squarepants but for me the reason is not a cartoon. This is very hard for me to admit. I watch Nick on Saturday nights at 7 o clock. I am a fan of iCarly. Stop laughing. It’s a funny show damn it.
I was on the way to the movie theater to see what was playing. We were trying to decide on a movie that would be good for a date. We decide on the Shia Labeouf movie Disturbia. On our way back to the dorms at Missouri Southern, we see someone jogging. Legs that go on for days, a rocking killer body, and long flowing blonde hair. Guess what? He was from Germany. That is right, HE. I felt really weird. We mentioned never to talk about this. He did look better from behind. Wait a sec. Please strike that last statement from the record.
I have horrible taste in music sometimes, I love Katy Perry, Lady Gaga, Kesha, Christina Aguliera, but someone i like to sing is some Miley Cyrus. Party in The USA is my jam y’all!!! When i was a youngin I owned both Spice Girls CDs. I was all about getting me some girl power. Wow, I am starting to think wtf is wrong with me.
I remember staying home from school and one thing I liked watching other than game shows was Talk Shows. I loved Maury. His shows about baby daddies makes me feel better about myself. I was with 1000 men, who is the father of of my love baby named Billy Bob. However, there was one type of show, He did that makes a normal person wonder about themselves. Those damn guess the gender shows. Holy shit, Doug look at chick she is hott. That has to be a woman. Reveal yourself, My name is Barry. FUCK!!!! NOOOOOOO!!!!!
I am afraid of some things. One of them is spiders. I was riding in a car with a friend. All of a sudden a spider comes down on my shoulder. I start screaming like a 10 year old at a Wiggles concert. I yell get it OFF!!!! O!!! F!!!! F!!!! I screamed for a good ten minutes and I cried a little.
The girl I am dating can whip my ass. I know who wears the pants in the relationship. Sunday, we had an arm wrestling match and I went down faster than Vegas hooker on a wiener.
From this day forward, I have decided to work on manliness. Its going to be a long and winding road but I have friends who will keep hitting me in the testiculars if I do something girly
Needless to say, I may not be the manliness guy on the planet but I do make up for it in the bedroom. I have 100s of posters of Rachael Ray and Blanche from the Golden Girls.