I love The fall. The leaves are changing color and making drives a little more beautiful to take. There is a slight chill in the air. Football is on the television and Halloween is just around the little ole corner. All this means one thing. Dating. It can be a challenge to meet new people. You can meet in a bar, off the internet or a good ole kidnapping. However, you meet you need some rules to dating to help you not make that grave mistake. That is why I am here. I have comprised The UnWritten Rules to Dating. If you have read the first two installments, you are almost ready for that quiz. This is installment number 3. Have your pen and paper ready to take notes so you don’t make these mistakes.
Rule # 468: Meeting someone off the internet is kinda tricky. Mostly because they might have a reason that you aren’t comfortable with. We have covered saying I love you before meeting but this rule deals with the next step. You have dinner prepared, a movie picked out and you are nervous about this being your first date. She calls you to get directions to your place. (Technically, you are using a friends place because just in case they are crazy, they won’t know where you live.) You see them parking the car, your stomach is churning due to nervousness. She gets out of the car. She has a slight limp. No worries. Maybe she broke a heel walking to her car. Maybe one leg is longer than the other. She comes up to the door and rings the door bell. You check your hair one last time answer the door. You give her the worlds biggest hug. You tell her dinner is almost done and that she can have a seat any where. You turn around to head in the kitchen, you come back out to see her on her knee holding a ring asking for your hand in marriage. What do say? You say no and tell her to get the fuck out. Simple as that. If someone ask for your hand in marriage within 5 minutes of meeting them, make up an excuse to get the hell out. They have an app for that btw.
Rule #12: Make sure you dress for the occasion. I am gonna run down a list of places that you will meet someone on a date. I will tell you what is not appropriate. If you are going to dinner and doing something afterwards where there will be people at, Do wear something that nice. Do not wear a pair of Sweat Pants or booty shorts with the word Sassy written on the ass. If you are meeting the person for coffee, Do: wear something casual. Don’t: wear a pair of Sweat Pants or booty shorts with the word Sassy written on the ass. If you are going to the club. Do: Wear something sexy that doesn’t show to much. Don’t: wear a pair of Sweat Pants or booty shorts with the word Sassy written on the ass. If you are meeting at their place. Do: Blue jeans and a t shirt. Don’t: wear a pair of Sweat Pants or booty shorts with the word Sassy written on the ass. This rule is simple if you are a woman or a gay male please DO NOT wear a pair Sweat Pants or booty shorts with the word Sassy written on the ass.
Rule #316: You can meets a potential mate by the church you attend. It is a fact that some relationships do start by going to church. However, what if you have already met that person and they ask you start going to church just for you to see them? Well, that isn’t the reason you should be going. What if the church picks her to clean and she asks you to come help her? Are you really going to tell someone that you are into no? I didn’t think so. She has in her head that church won’t be the only thing that has gotten dirty. You meet up. She grabs your hand, takes you the back and has her way with you. During a service, you notice how short her skirt is. You slip your hand up her leg and start to finger her. Not a good idea. She starts returning the favor, till you both yell, Oh GOD. The entire church just looks at you funny. The rule, never go on a date to church, unless you meet in church or off Christian Mingles.
Rule #316 A: I also want to add that the only thing that should be risen during church is the lord and not the front of your pants.
I want you to take these next three rules to heart and let them be a guide to never make a mistake again.