You know what has been missing from The 13 Days of Christmas. That is fucking right. A certain Stick Figure. If you have no idea who I am, let me introduce myself. My name is Stick Figure (I got have some fun with one of Santa’s helpers. When I was done with her, I found out she was a yelper. She didn’t like to nibble but she was all about the bite. Just like a dream of Christmas I turned her white) Dan. If you read yesterdays Retro Video, and I am guessing you didn’t cause of who wrote it. No one actually reads his shit. You know that Richard was decorating a Christmas tree. Guess who else was right there with him? If you guessed a woman you guessed wrong. There is no way a woman would ever give him the time of day on her own accord, if she was self respecting of course. I mean holy shit. I watched Fat Man Do, string lights around a real tree. I am guessing he was jealous cause that will be the only wood he will be able to get. It was his first real tree. Whooo. Who cares? No one. He was covered in glitter after hanging ornaments. He made the Twilight vampires look less gay. That is feat accomplished by none. Congrats. You can now be hung off a hook and become the worlds largest Disco Ball. I on the other hand, I made the tree look great. No one can rival the awesomeness that is Stick Figure Dan. I am going to ruin his Christmas one way or another. It won’t be hard just tell him no one cares. I just want everyone to know I am Stick Figure Dan and I am better than you.
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