Speaking of Liquor, we have done some research and studying and experimentation. We have come to a very interesting conclusion. This is a Mardi Gras, answer to something we have been trying to figure out since 1954. We had a fifth of booze. The type of booze is not important. ( Bacardi 151 and it fucked us up.) We also had a set of Mardi Gras beads. We kept trying to figure out how to get these two items together. We let the beads soak in liquor all night and see if we can eat them to get drunk. Well, that idea failed faster than the Cavemen sitcom. What a sad day for ABC. We decided to get drunk and see what we could could do with the beads. It wasn’t pretty. My ass hasn’t been that colorful since high school. What a bad time!!!
A study from the University of…. it doesn’t matter what college did it. All you have to know is that a college did it. The study said something about finding a bunch of girls who would be willing to get tipsy and show them the beads. In conclusion, they will show their tits. No Fucking Way!!!! We decided to find some gullible women. The women we have met in many many ways. Ok, we met all of them in a bar. Two of the four had teeth. This is for science damn it. We got all four women drunk. It didn’t take much bribery to get them to do it. Shot after shot, we got each one of these women to believe I was sexy. Well, I am. They don’t need liquor to know that. Every woman knows that. They are falling over and trying to make out with us. The time is right. We hold up the beads and in a flash, no pun intended, we were in the boobie.
That was the moment that we decided Booze+Beads =Boobs. On this Mardi Gras, I am hoping that one girl will text me a picture of their boobs to prove that you don’t need booze and beads to get the job done.