Guess who is back people? Let me give you a little hint. I haven’t been around cause I took a vacation while fat fuck chuck was gallivanting in New Mexico looking for booty. The only kind of pirate he is, is of the butt kind. If you do not know who I am let me introduce myself. My name is Stick Figure ( I found me a bunch of sexy girls. We got it on and each one of them received a necklace of white pearls. Not a single one of those bitches was a ho. Hell, two of them were from New Mexico) Dan!!! I have taken some time away from here. I was on a nice little vacation in Fiji. I was getting it on with a certain Planeteer. I will not name anyone by name. I will say this though. The wind was strong within her for the last three months. I just got back and what do I find on here? The only person writing about Stick Stickly should be me. It should not be someone who thinks a great night is a blow up doll and a Swanson’s TV dinner. He makes me ashamed to be on here sometimes. I should have been the one writing about Stick Stickly. That man is my hero, damn it. He knew that when he posted it. It pisses me off. I am back and I am taking something he loves to write. The Hall of Hotties. I have made two inductions into the Hall, but this will be the most special. Our fearless leader has a crush on a cartoon character. I can tell you now that he has dirty pictures and some really cheaply made cartoon porn that he drew. The best part of it is that he doesn’t know it, but I tore this girl up last year. The next induction into the Hall of Hotties is:

Daphne Blake

Daphne and I had a summer getaway in the Poconos. She and I grew very close. I am guessing that you know her as the damsel in distress on Scooby Doo. That isn’t just a character. She loves being tied up and talked dirty to. It really gets me going. The purple dress, the purple pantyhose and the purple shoes give her that signature look. All those things look a hell of a lot better lying on my floor. Her long red hair isn’t just sexy but it is great for pulling. A little unknown fact about Miss Daphne, her favorite band is 4 non blondes. Her favorite food is hot dogs but not the food kind if you know what I mean. I hope one day I can talk her into having that threesome with Velma. That would be the perfect Jinkies night. Eat your heart out Richard. I beat you to the punch on inducting one of the sexiest women in the world.

About the author

Stick Figure Dan

Stick Figure Dan is the resident loud foul mouthed prick of The Buzz Kill. He is a loud mouth who will say anything at any given moment. He hates the world and everything in it. Dan came into the society as a writer in 2007 and hasn’t looked back since. He likes to write open letters to famous people, putting them in their place.