Ok. This is going to start like any great story should. Today was a trip to the most magical place on earth. Screw Disney World!!! This was a trip to the local Walmart. Yes. Walmart where the prices are slashed to even lower prices. Walmart, aka The New mall of America. We were in the aisle that had the bug spray and the laundry detergent. Cause that is two things that go together. We are looking at some things to spruce up the smell of our clothes. I picked out some bad ass Apple Mango Tango Gain. That stuff makes your clothes smell like a nice tropical island. It is awesome. All of a sudden we hear a guy start dropping more four letter words than a Scrabble game. Fuck You. You don’t have a god damn heart. Fuck you. I have been nothing but good to you. You ungrateful bitch. Well, it turns out he was talking his mom. You know that scene from A Christmas Story, where Ralphie gets soap poisoning? If I would have been his mom I would have been making him drink dawn soap like it was Kool aid. This is why I like going to Walmart. It has nothing to do with the checker with the bad ass orange shoes. The reason is to make me feel better about myself. We got a glimpse what this kid looked like. Yep. I was right. They typical Jerry springer guest. All that got me thinking. I knew what type of person does this. A Teenage Dirtbag.