It is Friday night which can only mean one thing, I am sitting by myself catching up on TV shows. On a side note: Ladies, I am looking for someone who will take me on walks. After a while I will become very loyal to you. I am house broken and love to cuddle. I will say, and it is kinda odd, I am afraid of newspapers. I am not 1 in a million. I am more like 1 in 7. If you are an interested woman please send your application to be my cuddle buddy to Well, if that isn’t the dumbest way we have ever started a Hall of Hotties, we have been lacking in stupidity. Being alone has lead me to do something that I have been needing to do for a long time now. I finally got to catch up on some of my favorite shows. Thank God. Communtiy, Modern Family, How I Met Your Mother just to name a few. However, there is one show that I have fallen completely in love with since the first season. The show, you ask? I can tell it sure as hell isn’t the Jersey Shore. I swear on The Really Big Bowl of Randoms that none of those skanks will make it in the hall. The ladies have had two inductions from this show based around Vampires, Fairies, Werewolves, and the occasional crazy human. I normally don’t do character inductions but this one had to be done. The next induction in the Hall of Hotties is:
Jessica Hamby
Bill Compton, Thank you for fucking up and being made to create a new Vampire. Jessica was raised in a strict devoted Christian home and in like most devoted Christians in the world of True Blood, they beat the hell out of her. One night she decides to run away and is kidnapped by vampires. Dear God, why can’t this town be real. The magister tells Bill that he has to create a new vampire. That Vampire is our favorite red headed Christian, Jessica. I can’t be the only one who is thinking this, I would go to church more often if women in the congregation looked like her. I am calling it now, she is a total VILF! (Vampire I’d Like to Fuck) She was hired on in later season to work at Merlottes. I know what I would like to serve her, Me. This makes me want to move to Bons Temps, if it were real. I would be a fang banger. In my head that sounded a lot cooler. We would like to welcome Jessica into the Hall of Hotties. Jessica, I am ready for a little necking. Suck Me Beautiful. We would so totally fang. How many bad puns can this end with? Apparently, three. I got one more. I know where all my blood has suddenly rushed to seeing that photo, that is where Miss Jessica needs suck from. Warning: It may or may not be blood.

About the author

Richard Pruitt

I am Richard and I have a problem. A problem with entertaining people. I have been in the comedy world for over 10 years. I started out as an improv actor making fun and light of everything. Doing that felt rewarding, but I have to admit, I wanted more. I couldn’t get the taste of performing out of my mouth. Does that not sound a little creepy? I decided to start doing my own stand up show. I love to make fun of my family and anything that will make a normal person say what the fuck. The journey still continues, in 2009, I had a dream to create my own online magazine. This is the beautiful corner of craziness in front of you. I have been through hell in my life but being stopped is something that I will not let happen. I am a fighter and hope to make people realize it is ok to smile and think from time to time. It also helps being a nerd.