I have an announcement. I am crazy. Good Night Everybody!!! Seriously, we can’t just end on a crazy announcement can we? That would be kind of like CSI: Miami ending after that one guy puts on the sunglasses. We can’t have that now can we. I have been meaning to write this, but I keep putting it off because I think procrastination is somewhat fun. My high school English teacher would be pissed. Why put off today, what you can do tomorrow. Every night for the last three years I have laid my head down to drift off to a land that is visited by Peter Pan. I love me some peanut butter. I am ready for a night of deep sleep. I was always told that if you tell your dreams before you eat they wouldn’t come true or it is the other way around. Hell, I give up trying to figure out these superstitions by the elderly. It is not the easiest thing in the world. I keep having the same dream over and over and over. It seriously is like being locked in a room watching the Events Calendar channel on the television. If any of you can tell me what this dream means or know a Shaman, I would be gladly appreciated and the terrorist will not win.
I dream that I am part of a sitcom. There are three guys named Larry, Darryl, Darryl. We work in some lodge thing and I have no idea how I got there. After 6 or 7 years, I wake up and realize it was all a dream. Shit, sorry that was Newhart. My bad
The real dream people. I am in the magical country music town of Branson Missouri. I normally wouldn’t brag about that. Wait a sec, I am really not even now. I am at the Branson Landing. It is an outdoor mall. They honest to God have the coolest damn store in the world. The As Seen On Tv Store!!! I got a Gopher from there. Remember that grabber thing Billy Mays sold? I had one. I am lonely, don’t judge me. Well, the dream starts at The Bass Pro Shops on the Landing. There is not a soul around. I start walking to see if anyone is there. All of a sudden, a penny comes rolling by me. It seems to be rolling at a pace that I can follow it very easily. I follow the penny, passing store after store. We end up at the part that looks over the water. I see myself with a woman. I can see the back of her. I have no clue what she looks like. I am guessing she is cute. I mean look at me. I am one sexy piece of man meat. The fire show begins and I am proposing to her. I try to move to see what she looks like as soon as I get close I wake up.
I keep waking up in the same damn spot. What does this all mean? Am I supposed to somehow marry Yakov, or get it on with The Oak Ridge Boys. Is she the girl? Will the dream end when I meet her face to face? I guess until then, I will be playing with my Baldknobbers.
I apologize for the Branson references. I couldn’t help myself.

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