Have you ever been so horny that it hurts? It’s like you need a release and everything that you look at you want to fuck the shit out of. The fan with the really soft blades. The hot dog bun at your friends BBQ. The neighbor’s cat when it’s taking a shit in your flower garden. Your wife. I have to say that being turned on has its downfalls. I understand where Whitney was coming from when she was talking about the hormones just raging like crazy. I am not going through puberty, this is just getting ridiculous. That is why I need to look at a beautiful woman to get the night going in the direction I really want. I am thinking it is time for the next induction into The Hall Of Hotties. I was thinking long, thick and hard on this one. I was going through my database of sexy women at Buzz Kill HQ and this woman’s picture said pick me. That is what I am doing. The next induction into the Hall of Hotties is…
Rosario Dawson
Rosario Dawson. What can I say about this beautiful woman? I think the answer is plenty. She first struck a chord with me when she was in Josie and The Pussycats. She was one of the pussycats. I would love to pet that hairless cat. Get your minds out of the gutter people. The next big hit we were able to sink our eyes into her was the musical rent. First of all, 525,600 minutes is how long I have touched myself when she sings Out Tonight. Damn times 12. I also wouldn’t mind lighting her candle and then her pouring the wax on me. I am kinky, don’t judge me. Next up, my personal favorite movie with her in it, Clerks 2. I would totally go ass to mouth with her in a heart beat. I know I have a chance cause I look like a chubby version of Dante. Finally, how often can a girl blow you away with a leg for a gun? That is all I need to say. Death Proof. Yes, please. Rosario Dawson, welcome to the Hall of Hotties. Rosario if you read this, let’s start Bohemia again.

 

About the author

Richard Pruitt

I am Richard and I have a problem. A problem with entertaining people. I have been in the comedy world for over 10 years. I started out as an improv actor making fun and light of everything. Doing that felt rewarding, but I have to admit, I wanted more. I couldn’t get the taste of performing out of my mouth. Does that not sound a little creepy? I decided to start doing my own stand up show. I love to make fun of my family and anything that will make a normal person say what the fuck. The journey still continues, in 2009, I had a dream to create my own online magazine. This is the beautiful corner of craziness in front of you. I have been through hell in my life but being stopped is something that I will not let happen. I am a fighter and hope to make people realize it is ok to smile and think from time to time. It also helps being a nerd.