Having a cookout with the family, watching grown men and women shove 70 hot dogs down their throats in 10 minutes, getting completely shitfaced, and now add another awesome thing to the awesome 4th of July rituals. The Buzz Kill’s 4 on the 4th. Today is going to be a fun day. Happy Independence Day, America. Nothing screams Happy Birthday America like shooting bottle rockets at a drunks man’s crotch. How many people do you think will end up in the Emergency room today? This is going up before noon, and I know one of you out there has a burn already. The only thing I ask is why wasn’t I invited? Damn stuck ups. We live in a great country. How awesome is it that we can pretty much blow stuff up and not get in trouble for it for entire day. This is a pyromaniacs wet dream come true. I don’t know about you boys and girls, but I am proud to be Born In The U.S.A. If some of you are reading this weren’t, Happy day that has no meaning to you but gives you an excuse to blow stuff up too.
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