I think we have all heard the jingle by Folgers, The best part of waking up is Folgers in your cup. After this morning I have to say I have found a better way to wake up and I see a lawsuit pending in the future. The best part of waking up is poking someone in the butt. If you want to feel invigorated, poke someone in the butt and see how quickly they wake the fuck up. If that is not a random way to start one of these I don’t know what is. I hope you all had a wonderful weekend. I know I did. I had one bad ass slumber party and stayed up all night talking about how hot Taylor Lautner is. We did makeovers and I even Kissed a Girl…(GASP) and I liked it. It was one hell of a weekend. Once it was over earlier this afternoon. I started singing a song. I looked right in the mirror ripped off my shirt and was looking at my awesome physique. Some people have a 6 pack. Screw that. I have a gravy bowl. I realized something. I am even too sexy for my cat and I don’t even own one.