It is illegal to drink and drive. So I have a question that really needs to be answered. Why in the hell would you be allowed to have a drive through liquor store? That is about as stupid as having a billboard telling you not to text and drive and having a number you can text at the bottom. Oh wait…..
Speaking of Billboards. Want to know how to cause a driver with ADD/ADHD to wreck? Keep putting those electronic change billboards.
Revenge is a dish best served cold. So if you see me eating a bowl of Chili, I am plotting revenge against someone.
Is it weird I like my chili cold?
If I put roofies in my own drink, would it be date rape or masturbation?
I can’t be the only one who thinks of Ferris Bueller when I hear Twist and Shout.
Ladies over 45 need to stop dressing like their 15 year old daughters. Eww.
Any one over 60 should not drop it low, a hip might come out of place.
Nothing will make you clinch your butthole more than seeing a crack deal go down. Something tells me that wasn’t sugar.
Not only did I find my thrill on blueberry hill but I found it on every hill afterwards.
The problem of not having an ass, My backside is flatter than Kansas, is leading me to buy the product Booty Pop Panties.
If a woman flashes her boobs, she gets beads. What do guys flash to get theirs?
Fat guys are excluded from that last joke since they already have boobs.
I am really thinking that The Big Bowl of Random is The Buzz Kill’s version of Marty Jannetty. 10 bonus points if you know who that is.
Would you eat at a buffet that only cost 99 cents? If you answered yes, please remember your high school cafeteria.
Nerds are great at using their hands in the bedroom. We have a lot of practice alone with a tube sock.
I think I have kept, the Kleenex, viva, and tube sock people in business. Just me.
I appreciate what her contribution to the music world was, but I can’t be the only person out there who doesn’t care for Janis Joplin. Hippies, are going to lovingly kick my ass now. I would rather hear someone else sing her songs. It’s metal before metal even existed. If I wanted to hear screaming, I would walk into a daycare or I would Call Your Mom.
And this Big Bowl just went out on Bang.