Okay so, it was Wednesday and I had absolutely nothing to do at all. I started watching the Avengers. Let’s face it, if you’re a girl and a nerd you will drool over Captain America and Thor. After a healthy dose of that hot mess I decided I should probably get up and do something. I decided to get up and cook. Cooking is a big thing with this nerd princess. I don’t know about you but I have roommates Just as equally nerdy as I am However, they were not home. I proceeded to blare music from my bedroom and head straight to cooking or so I thought. I don’t know how you readers feel about animals but I basically live in a zoo. Two dogs, four cats (We had more, but they started dying when my roommate played Sugar Ray, very sad story) a bird, a spider, two guinea pigs, two snakes, two rats, and fish tanks. Truth only a few animals mentioned are mine. I have one cat left after the tragic accident, two rats, and my fish. Now that I’ve rambled on about the zoo, back to the original point. I start to cook fried rice dancing around the kitchen and acting all crazy singing. You know, nerding out. The kitchen smells like heaven, the dogs are actually behaving, so I decide to step in my room and start a movie for when the food is done. Literally was only gone, maybe, thirty seconds. In thirty seconds the dogs became criminal masterminds. I hear a huge crash. I walk into the kitchen and find my skillet full of food ( that was literally boiling) on the floor and dogs licking it up. Not thinking, I grab the skillet to pick it up. BAD IDEA. This kid’s is the moment I learned that I am not now, nor will I ever be a super hero. Because fire and I are mortal enemies As I said before the skillet was previously boiling. I grabbed it from the side and nearly set my hand on fire. So kids, let’s recap. Dogs are licking up my food, and my hand is on fire. What do I do, run to the sink to put cold water on it. Apparently, mother nature has a very cruel sense of humor, because hot water came out the faucet on top of the burn. At this point, I’m pretty sure I invented a new language because I have no clue what the heck I said. On top of all this, I trip over the dog and end up giving the floor a very hard hug with my face. At this point, the dogs run over to check on me and lick my face. So now, I’m sitting in the middle of the chicken with dogs surrounding me licking my face. I had officially lost it. I jumped up picked up the pan threw it in the sink and walked into my room. Needless to say, now I am my room crying into a bowl of Ramen and watching The Big Bang Theory. Oh dear nerd gods, why have you forsaken me? Moral of the story, I am clumsy, gravity is a cold hearted whore and mustard is very good for burns.
Sincerely,
The slightly scorched, nerdiest girl in existence.

About the author

TBK Magazine

The smartest dumbest site on the net!!!