Why in the hell, do we have a day where we hand out candy to children? When in fact, all we do is complain about obesity. If some some little hoodlums showed up to my house looking like Spiderman ate Doc. Oct at all you can eat Chinese Buffet, I would hand them Jenny Craig meals. If you do not know who I am, God have mercy on your soul. Let me introduce myself for the uneducated out there. My name is Stick figure (I met these two women at a party. They were dressed like schoolgirls who have been a little naughty. I took them to the back room to make them my sluts. They slapped me across the face when I tried sticking it in their butts.) Dan. I am guessing fat fuck chuck is out trick or treating as the creepiest 28 year old male dressed like a Disney Princess this year. I am guessing with all that candy he is trying to eat a hole in the center of a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup. I am guessing he won’t succeed unless he can suck it. Difficulty level 9. Today is Halloween. Whoopee. People dress like they want their life to actually be like. If I really wanted to see people dressed up, I would just raid Richard’s photo albums. Tonight, I felt like I needed to induct someone into the Hall Of Hotties. It has been a long time for me to put a woman in here. Well, you are in luck. Whitney, gave me a really good idea earlier. The next induction into The Hall of Hotties is:

The Dumb Bitch that takes off running and then her heel magically breaks causing her to fall down so the Psychopath killer can knife her to death.

If you are creepy and are wielding a giant knife this is the only time a woman will ever fall for you. Also, true if you meet them off Craigslist in Missouri. Why is that every horror movie as a psycho killer that can walk faster than people at a dead sprint? Do you know how many gold medals we would have if Michael Myers ran the 100M in the Olympics? It is crazy. This chick takes off running and somehow in the middle of the run she magically trips. I swear these women are just plain stupid. I have never seen anything like this. Here is one, their heel breaks. First of all, who in the fucking hell would be wearing heels in the woods or in your PJs. If you are wearing heels at all times you need to reevaluate your life. Then the slasher does his dirty work and gets blood all over his mask. If you are hot and are being chased by a psycho, you are fucked.

About the author

Richard Pruitt

I am Richard and I have a problem. A problem with entertaining people. I have been in the comedy world for over 10 years. I started out as an improv actor making fun and light of everything. Doing that felt rewarding, but I have to admit, I wanted more. I couldn’t get the taste of performing out of my mouth. Does that not sound a little creepy? I decided to start doing my own stand up show. I love to make fun of my family and anything that will make a normal person say what the fuck. The journey still continues, in 2009, I had a dream to create my own online magazine. This is the beautiful corner of craziness in front of you. I have been through hell in my life but being stopped is something that I will not let happen. I am a fighter and hope to make people realize it is ok to smile and think from time to time. It also helps being a nerd.