Have you ever been sitting around with your friends and start talking about things that have happened in life whether it be real or fictitious? And you start by saying What if this happened and a chain of events would happen that could change everything that we know. We thought they would be fun to do on paper and as part of The Solitude of Nerdom Podcast. Welcome to the debut of our newest piece, What If…. This is where we will take things that have happened and discuss if an event was changed what would happen. Some will be funny, some will be serious but all will be in good fun. Each week a new What If will be posted and they will come from any writer at any given moment. I think we are going to have a lot of fun writing this and we hope that you will have just as much fun reading these. Today we are going to give you a few short What If’s…. From a few of the writers here at The Buzz Kill.
Here is a What If from your favorite Nerdy Chick, Laura.
What if: The Internet didn’t exist.
If the internet didn’t exist, the world would be a very boring place. Think about it. You’d have to pay everything with cash, no debit cards. No online shopping. No YouTube, no radio, less music. I don’t know about you guys, but without music I’d go crazy. Movie graphics wouldn’t be as good, I mean just think about how dependent the world is on the internet. It’s actually sort of sad. What many people don’t know is the internet and computers were originally invented for military use. Now, most people use the internet to stalk his or her ex on Facebook. Without the internet there is no Facebook stalking, no Twitter, no online classes, which means I’d actually have to get up and go to school. Also, there would be no online gaming which makes my inner nerd cry. What on earth would I even do with my time if I couldn’t play online games. What on earth would I do to rid myself of anger. Basically without the Internet I would become She-Hulk, but more important than ALL those things. There would be no Buzz Kill Blog, there would be no Solitude of Nerdom Podcast. This means not only would my life be boring as hell, but yours would too. We would actually have to get out and buy things. We would have no source of entertainment to a degree. Life would be boring, the economy would take a nose dive, and I would have no career ever. In other words, the internet is needed for most of the world to survive.
The next What If comes from Chris Knight.
What if I had completely forgotten to write a what if today?
Well first of all, I would get a phone call from my friend and colleague. He would tell me that my paycheck was on its way to some old lady living out in the middle of backwoods Russia. Then the real threats would begin, such as, “Next time I see you, I’m going to kick you in the dick!” or something of that nature. Maybe even the lovely do you like your job speech? Let me tell you, it’s hard to find time between sitting in my big leather chair, watching movies and masturbating to my heart’s content, let alone finding time to write something. Look, I’m an F list celebrity, I’m Chris Knight for god’s sake, I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THIS SHIT! Enough said!
Finally, A What If from Richard Pruitt
What if we actually became what we said we wanted to be when we grew up?
I think the world would be a more interesting place from time to time. There would be adults running around with their underwear on the outside of their pants pretending to be Quailman but with less powers. It would be a bitch to try to get into space. There would be so many astronauts, the bumper to bumper rocket traffic would be out the ass. However, there would be no shortage of baseball players or actors. So we could still have our crappy indie films and sadly the Kansas City Royals would still be the worst team in baseball. Who knows one of us could actually be knocking boots with a princess? I don’t remember a kid saying he wanted to be a criminal so I would have to believe the crime rate would be non existent. I would be hosting a game show. Think about what you wanted to be in the first grade and think about what all your friends said. The world would be very different and I think that is an understatement.
This gives you a small idea as to what these are going to be like. We have also adapted What If, into a segment on The Solitude of Nerdom Podcast. The very first one will debut today in Episode 6. If you have a what if and would like to see one is wrap our minds around it, send it to firstname.lastname@example.org