So, back for more, well I should have known! Opening a can of non nookie can be as laughable as Kristen Stewart’s acting career.
Let’s face it, when the guest room see’s more tits and ass then your own master bedroom well, you’re definitely doing something wrong.
Speaking of which, I was talking to my inflatable love doll yesterday reminiscing over conversations of the past. Conversations that were oriented towards the opposite sex. I recalled a road trip that I had taken with a couple of friends. We were headed, you guessed it, comic book shop, Memphis TN. Three guys in a car for about an hour in a half or so, yeah let that sink in! “Oh what could they possibly be talking about!” is what you’re thinking, right. It’s okay, we are all adults here. Well let me just say we weren’t talking flower arrangements or knitting, nope! We were talking sex, big fucking surprise right!
I mean lets get real people. Let me set the scene for you, there are three of us. I am single and have been for at least three years during this time in which I speak of. My friend Steve has been married for at least four years and Billy has been dating his girl for at least two months. Now my fellow readers, I have never heard anyone bitch about their significant others as much these guy’s did. It started with Billy complaining about getting too much sex, WOW, is there such a thing? This of course sends Steve and I into rib shattering laughter. He goes on to explain that because of her work schedule she comes home horny. Don’t ask me folks, I am still trying to figure that one out myself! Steve is rolling on the proverbial floor, but manages to tell Billy, he wished he had that problem! Billy goes on to tell us that every night she gets home around 1:00 a.m. and rapes his ass! He says this so seriously, that it has just ensued more laughter from us. Steve chimes in “Dude, stop complaining, I have been married for four years and my wife won’t let me touch her”. Then he goes on to say ” Be glad you’re getting some, if there was Queen of headaches, she’d be my wife!” He said as he laughed. I of course just set their laughing at both of their predicaments. Then it dawned on me, I have no one to call my own. I sat in the back seat listening to their gripes and realized my love life was as unexciting as a Micheal Bay film. Sure there were some explosions, but the story lacked any real character development. Seriously, what was I doing wrong? Then of course, they looked at me as if I had something to add! All I could say is “I weep for the both of you”! Sarcastically of course. Seriously, being single sucks because you can relate to the whole lack of nookie. But when a guy complains of too much sex, what can you say? Gee, I’m so sorry that you go to bed satisfied by a chick who wants to fuck her BOYFRIEND all the time, it’s criminal I tell you! Seriously, it’s like the double mint twins offering you more than a stick of gum. Enough said!!