It is the return of The Dumbass of the Week. I think this is going to be an interesting one to think about. We had many idiots out there that could have won this one but this week it was much easier than any decision we have made. The Dumbass of the Week is……. Black Friday Shoppers.
I am not going to lump all of you in one article. Some of you out there that did some Black Friday shopping did it right. You were respectful and were able to the items you wanted without going completely bat shit crazy. No, this is not about you. The Dumbasses that I am talking about are the lovely people who think it is awesome to stand at a door in a cluster. If you are one of the workers on the inside of the store, the fear has to be running through your veins. This is the making of something out of The Walking Dead. The doors open and it doesn’t matter what you have to do but damn that 12 inch television is 6 bucks and you have to have it for your fishing boat. Am I the only one who thinks that the people act about Black Friday is a sad excuse of the human nature? Want to know what the closest we will ever come to being like cavemen again is? Throw up a bargain on a damn Barbie doll and watch all hell break loose. It seems on the day after Thanksgiving and the day of, Walmart becomes the Serengeti. Honestly, this is why zoos have the “don’t feed the animals” signs posted everywhere.
I do not know how many of you have taken to YouTube but check out all the crazy events that happened on Friday. My personal favorite was watching a 14 year old get punched in the face because he just wanted to get a TV for his room. Look if you have to hit a kid because a new TV is that important, it may be time to rethink not just the priorities but life itself. Let me ask some of you a question, would you hit a child if say it was over a can of green beans? I didn’t think so. I know what you are saying to yourself right now, “Green beans are not even comparable to a television.” I want to remember when we were growing up we could make a telephone out of a can and that was entertainment. We didn’t need to see the same episode of some ghastly MTV reality show for the fourth time in a week just because it was in high definition. My personal favorite Black Friday shopping story comes from, I will give you three guesses and the first two don’t count. Hell, I will even give you a clue. The place is Walmart. A woman found a shopping cart with an item that she wanted for the sake of the argument, I am guessing it was one of those one cup coffee makers. She took the cart of a woman who rightfully was able to get the product. There was one problem with her entire plan. There was a baby in the cart. Let me repeat so that the people in the back of the place could hear me. There was a baby in the cart and this woman took it. Kidnapping all because she couldn’t have the rich taste of those donut shop coffee cups. On a side note, who the fuck brings their baby to a Black Friday sale? Plus, I am guessing Walmart wouldn’t take back a used baby.
If there was ever one thing that puts a black eye on our society it’s Black Friday. Remember kids, the internet has more uses than just porn.
- Black Friday Blitz: Things get chippy at Walmart (amarillo.com)
- Black Friday shopper accused of pulling stun gun at Linden, NJ Walmart (pix11.com)
- Five People You’ll See During Black Friday at Sawgrass Mills (blogs.browardpalmbeach.com)