I hate to be spreading a negative word about anyone at Christmas but I feel that would not be who we are. We are a magazine that likes to rip apart the very foundation of the media in any chance we get. Why would we change who we are just because it was the holidays? Wouldn’t that make us look weak? I know the Grinch’s heart grew two sizes bigger that day but on that day I have a feeling that he was watching Fox news and had a good laugh. Our first Dumb Ass of The Christmas Season is….. Megyn Kelly.

megyn-kellyI am going to be the first to admit this. I always wondered what it takes to be a broadcast journalist. I am guessing a degree in common sense is not one of those requirements. Megyn Kelly made the statement that Jesus was white. I have read the bible from cover to cover and do not remember Matthew, Mark, Luke, or John mentioning that Jesus was an albino. I am guessing if this was the case there would have been a lot of days where he called in sick. Carpentry would have put him out in the sun quite a bit.  I guess I missed that book in the bible that described his race. I am going to have to check out the rejected books of the bible but that is not even the one that makes me shake my head. Santa is white!!! Well, hell. Tell me one person that is crazy enough to live at the North Pole? I am guessing Santa never goes outside to do anything. I am sorry but no one is going to be crazy enough to live in temperatures that could freeze your dick to your legs as soon as you walk outside. I feel that this woman has no credentials. As it pains me to say, it doesn’t take rocket science to read off a teleprompter. Anyone with a body could do Megyn Kelly’s job and that is including a Kardashian. I feel dumber for hearing that Santa is white. Who cares if Santa is white, black, Asian, plaid, orange, green, for all I care it could be Poppa Smurf handing out presents to good boys and girls at the mall. It is about the spirit of the holiday and I am guessing someone is pissed that they didn’t get that Easy Bake Oven for Christmas when they were 6. Who wants to take a guess the song most listened to under her holiday playlist is White Christmas?

Not only do we have one dumb ass, but we have two. I know by now all of you have heard about the controversy surrounding the show Duck Dynasty. I want to say this before I go any further. I am a supporter of Gay marriage. I feel that love is what it is all about. Now, with that said, A&E you are a complete Dumbass. Phil Robertson was suspended for stating his opinion in GQ Magazine. Let me share with you the exact statement that was said.

“It seems like, to me, a vagina—as a man—would be more desirable than a man’s anus. That’s just me. I’m just thinking: There’s more there! She’s got more to offer. I mean, come on, dudes! You know what I’m saying? But hey, sin: It’s not logical, my man. It’s just not logical.”

Duck Dynasty Season 3I don’t think Phil is blasting anyone of any sexual orientation. I feel that he just can’t understand it. He is a preacher and anyone who watches the show, knows the values of the bible is incorporated into the show. Duck Dynasty has a place in the television world, but A&E must hate having ratings because I am guessing the 40th repeat of Storage Wars is bringing in the viewers. So if an opinion comes out that doesn’t fit the media’s perception of life, it is terrible. I think that both sides need to be talked about and said. Welcome to the first amendment but I guess if it is not liked it is hated. A&E made the worst decision they could have made… well…. ever. The Robertsons are a very close knit family and have stated they are going to stay behind Phil which spells the end for the popular show based on the duck call makers. I want someone to tell me someone in the LGBT community that actually watches Duck Dynasty. I am guessing that one fan is pissed off to no end right now. I wonder if it would be tougher to find that one fan or finding a virgin prostitute?  A&E, may cease to exist after this whole debacle. At least that means CSI: Miami can finally be buried.

About the author

Richard Pruitt

I am Richard and I have a problem. A problem with entertaining people. I have been in the comedy world for over 10 years. I started out as an improv actor making fun and light of everything. Doing that felt rewarding, but I have to admit, I wanted more. I couldn’t get the taste of performing out of my mouth. Does that not sound a little creepy? I decided to start doing my own stand up show. I love to make fun of my family and anything that will make a normal person say what the fuck. The journey still continues, in 2009, I had a dream to create my own online magazine. This is the beautiful corner of craziness in front of you. I have been through hell in my life but being stopped is something that I will not let happen. I am a fighter and hope to make people realize it is ok to smile and think from time to time. It also helps being a nerd.