I have been kind of lonely as of late. It’s hard being lonely girl in a lonely world and I don’t even have the money to take the midnight train going anywhere. I have become the woman on the couch with the ice cream and a Snuggie. I need some help badly. The other day I was looking through my local Barnes and Nobel trying to find a nerdy guy drinking coffee when I got lost and ended up in the DVD section. I didn’t even know that there was a DVD section in Barnes and Noble. I was in shock. I was looking to see if I could find something that would take my lonely blues away. I found the notebook, but how many times can a girl watch that movie? I found all the cliché chick flicks and didn’t even bat an eye. But I turned to look to at the television section for just one minute and there he was. I couldn’t believe it. I started breathing heavy right in the middle of the store. I thought I was having an orgasm or filming an herbal Essence ad. His bleach blonde hair, that body, the way he would look at me when he said “Time Out.” All of those emotions started racing up on me and my panties could feel it too. The next inductee into The Hall of Hunks is a man that changed the very foundation of how I grew up. That man is Zack Morris.
I will never forget the first time I was introduced to this young hunk of meat, the sad thing he was going to school in Indiana. It’s weird that when he moved to Bayside, that a couple of others came with him as well as the principal. I didn’t know schools could make trades for students and faculty. I was so excited to see his blonde hair grace my television on a weekly basis and in a daily basis in syndication. I know that if Zack Morris would have gone to my school, he would have been wearing my heart around his neck and Kelly would have had a damn cat fight on her hands.
Zack would get into some crazy situations that only he could have got himself out of. It was weird, but I feel like he was right there with me in school. He made me cry, he made me laugh, and he made me angry, at the ages of hormones he was the perfect man. I was rooting for him when he needed that one credit to graduate. I was hoping that he wouldn’t have had that passion kiss with Jesse when they did the rapping Snow White play. I wanted him to get his parking spot back from Tori. I was hoping that Kelly and he wouldn’t get back together after Jeff. I was hoping that he would have said Time Out and put his lips on mine. Zack Morris, the all-around perfect hunk. This is why I chose him to be inducted into the Hall of Hunks. I am telling you if I ever meet Zack, I am becoming addicted to caffeine pills just so he will try to get me to stop.