ecd4227936b6d09183c9467a7fd3f2ccdbea0ff7f0db8f9204e75ba8e36ca40cMost women, nowadays, are extremely pessimistic of our male counterparts. The reason is most decide not to go for that wonderful guy next door, but instead go for the jackass down the street with a Harley and enough hair on his back to knit a sweater. When that man leaves them on the curb for another, younger, dumber model, they’re sitting there wondering “What did I do wrong?”

Sweetheart, you ain’t done nothing wrong. Pull up your big girl panties, put on that dark eyeliner and learn the rules of the game. Thanks to a wonderful cousin, nicknamed TinaBeanz, a quick list has been compiled of what to watch out for and how to turn on your BS detector.

Seven warning signs!

1) Let me come over and chill a while.

This basically is a man, “I want to sleep with you without having to spend money on you.”

2) I’m not looking for love, just a friend.

Man speak, “I want to sleep with you, but on my own time, while stringing you along and making you feel special. I’ll also sleep with whatever other chick will take me.”

3) Questionable employment

If on Facebook, his employment status reads “self-employed/make money anyway I can” means his broke ass is unemployed and he needs a sugga mama something bad.

url4) Sober tattooage

If he has tattoos on his face that he received while sober means he has absolutely no plans to seek reputable employment at any point in the near future.

5) Baby mama drama.

If he says his baby mama is crazy. Before the eggs start flying in my direction, there are those rare circumstances where the baby mama may be crazy as a loon, but most of the time he doesn’t pay child support or even visits his kids. He’ll tell everyone who listens, including the random woman living in his closet, that baby mama is whacko and needs to go to the looney bin.

6) What work ethic?

If he constantly calls into work sick or gets hurt on the job a lot, he obviously doesn’t know the meaning of work ethic. This is a “slap you in the face” warning to “I just want you to take care of me, and we’ll struggle while I hold my balls and play video games all day.”

7) Wants a new mama

If he is buzzing your phone all the time wanting you to do something for you. He can’t get up to get a Coke or take his plate to the sink or fold his own laundry. This, my dears, is what we call the man who ain’t off his mama’s nipple, yet. Think “Failure to Launch” and this man might still have some chance of saving.

About the author

Leann McCoy

Hi, I’m Leann. I’m known as the resident weird one in my close knit group of friends. We used to be mortal enemies, like, die wench die kind of enemies, but we bonded over Inuyasha and wine coolers. Now we’re the best of “die wench die” friends. Writing is my drug. Humor is my go-to for keeping life, not so serious. You’ll catch me jumping between the post-Apoc (post-apocalyptic world for those who don’t know) of my creation and the world of angels and demons in another story. I’m one of those random ones that a lot people think has a mental disorder, but I’m actually quite sane most of the time. You’ll catch me at Buzz Kill well killing time and dare I say, bemoaning the fact that I’m not a gamer in a very game filled household. So ta da! And have fun!