series-7-part-2-gallery-1-15-570x320I can’t tell you how excited I am to be making my first induction to this here hall of hunks section. Normally I wouldn’t be so open with my secret crush and the thoughts that run through my mind in regards to him, but this is a site of all things nerdy. Surely I am not the only one who’s got a nerd boner for Mr. Matthew Robert Smith. I didn’t know that it was possible for a vagina in the UK to ever even fathom producing something so absolutely salivating, let alone achieve it 31 years ago, nor did I know that there could ever be something of interest to me on BBC America. This Northampton raised Scorpio, was born on October 28th, 1982 (The year of the dog if you’re into the astrology thing) and is now best known to the world as the 11th Doctor. Surprisingly, he originally wanted to be a footballer but that was made pretty much impossible due to a back injury in his high school days. He has never even attended a drama school. In 2011 he received an award nomination from the British Academy of Film and Television Arts (BAFTA) and was in the television movie ‘Christopher and his Kind’. He’s also starred in the 2007 television series ‘Party Animals’

Matt SmithI really don’t know what makes me tick more, the accent or the thought of the power in his sonic screwdriver between my legs. I do know that I find the chiseled jaw line and his devoted love for the same woman over the spans of time to be amazing. You wrap that up in a package adorned with an awesome Fez, a bow tie and dreamy eyes and you have a heartthrob who makes me want to do naughty things in a big blue box. As camera shy as I am, I’d want to film that simply because it’s something I would want to remember and, deposited directly to my spank bank of epic proportion. Surely plenty of others also have this fantasy other than my imaginary boyfriend and me? So please, by all means Mr. Smith jump into that TARDIS, punch in whatever coordinates you need to be in my current time and bedroom, spank me and call me Sexy. If you’re into the evil bad girl types I can even dress up as a Dalek or whatever it would take to just keep you talking. Give me a reason to scream “Doctor Who?” And show me just what men who time travel have learned, and revisit often! I am sure that it would take nothing short of a wonderful, sick and twisted bit of fate for this to ACTUALLY come into being. It could still happen though, because the universe is big. It’s vast and complicated and ridiculous. And sometimes, very rarely, impossible things just happen and we call them miracles.

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About the author

Peony Ann

I am a mostly misunderstood child of the corn, born and raised in rural Illinois turned self-proclaimed writer with random, yet passionate opinions and views. It seems that I am self-taught because I was a stoner slack ass in high school who thought it’d be better to fuck around and see what kind of trouble I could make rather than to concentrate on a formal education. Who uses algebra in a corn field anyway?

My mission in life is to be me, be happy, and FTW if they don’t like it. I used to know what I really wanted in life. Since I was 5 years old, all I wanted was to be married to the same woman my entire life, be a doctor, a writer, to have a litter all my own, and to be the “token ‘hot’ Asian” in most settings. I just wasn’t sure how I felt about being a boy, because girls were just so much prettier. Now, as I approach my dirty 30, I have accomplished only one of those things successfully because, well, I’m Asian and we breed like rabbits, resulting in my litter of 5.

I aim to please, entertain and boggle with “WTF?!” moments. I even throw around a little poetry. Some will find me apPAULing, others hilarious, and some would maybe even call me a messed up kind of special. Those are the ones nearest and dearest to me who paid for all of those bibs, large crayons, and the occasional straight jacket to provide my short bus driver with for her own protection. Oh, and the ones who supported me through the transformational surgeries from Paul to Peony. I just wanted to be a delicate fucking flower, is that so wrong? P.S. I love my new tits!