Charles Van Zant of Florida, I have something to say to you, WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?!?!

Let me start by talking about what I believe is a good idea on paper, until you actually look at the paper. Common Core. I am 10 years out of high school and I am working on my Associates degree. The toughest thing that I have learned in my studies is math. I look at the numbers and start to panic like a harlot in church. Math is not the most fun subject in the world for me, but I know that I have to use it at some point in my life. Maybe. However, I have been introduced to common core standards by a couple of friends of mine who are parents and I have to say that I took one look at that paper and was confused like a bisexual in an orgy. The way they are teaching kids, math is how you say moronic in a way that could be understood by everyone? Oh yeah. Moronic. Here is a comparison with the old way and the new way of solving math problems.

common-core-standard-math-addition

I may not agree with changing the old way because of my nostalgic love for my childhood, I understand that taking a shit on the way that I learned math could better our test scores as a country. That being said, I applaud them for trying something new. However, a Florida senator by the name of Charles Van Zant, decided to make this wonderful statement in a speech he was giving:

“These people, that will now receive $220 million from the state of Florida unless this is stopped, will promote double-mindedness in state education and attract every one of your children to become as homosexual as they possibly can. I’m sorry to report that to you.”

cvzThis Douche Canoe had the balls to say this. I am in complete shock over the lack of common sense with this statement that it is unreal. So here is a warning for all the parents out there that has a kid in common core, if the Florida senator was correct, every time “Long Division” will be used, your son will want a cock in his mouth.

He made these terrible statements because the Common Core group has stood behind the LBGT community. Seriously, I think Forrest Gump’s mom was right. Stupid is as Stupid does. As I said, I may not agree with the idea of the new way of doing math, it doesn’t give this guy the right to make these statements. I am wondering if anyone who voted for this guy feels ashamed on this day because I know that I would be wearing a brown paper bag over my head. I am guessing that this guy’s best friend is Donald Sterling.

Remember kids, if you do common core, Charles Van Zant says that you will become a Gay. It will be no more x axis and y axis, it will be two X axes and two Y Axes as the solution to life’s love problems. WTF!?!?!?!?!

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About the author

Richard Pruitt

I am Richard and I have a problem. A problem with entertaining people. I have been in the comedy world for over 10 years. I started out as an improv actor making fun and light of everything. Doing that felt rewarding, but I have to admit, I wanted more. I couldn’t get the taste of performing out of my mouth. Does that not sound a little creepy? I decided to start doing my own stand up show. I love to make fun of my family and anything that will make a normal person say what the fuck. The journey still continues, in 2009, I had a dream to create my own online magazine. This is the beautiful corner of craziness in front of you. I have been through hell in my life but being stopped is something that I will not let happen. I am a fighter and hope to make people realize it is ok to smile and think from time to time. It also helps being a nerd.