I am back to answer all your dating and relationship questions on a weekly basis now. So without wasting any more time, let us get to your questions.
August, I’m going to sound crazy, but I had a boyfriend for 2 years, we broke up over a year ago, this week, even dreamt about him every night and I can’t get him off of my mind. I think he has a new girlfriend, I can’t help but check her page every night, every day she posts about him. I feel my heart breaking all the time. I feel horrible about myself. It’s weird because I have a boyfriend now too. I just don’t know what to do to get over my ex and feel good about myself again. ive come so far from who I was, I can’t go back to being obsessed about him.
Honey, I know you may not want to hear this exactly, but it is time to move on. A break up can be hard on an individual. I think the first thing you are going to have to do is stop checking his Facebook. I think that is first. You have to stop putting yourself in a situation that is constantly going to bring you down and keep your heart tore apart. You have to realize that he has moved on and it’s time you should too. As for having a new boyfriend. Dating can heal the soul, while some people say don’t, I am going to say that seeing this other guy is a good thing, but if he can’t take your mind off of him, date around. Be true to yourself and happiness will come. They say time heals all.
August, Well, I am 24 years old and never had a kiss and never had a girlfriend. In my younger years I have tried to get girlfriends, but none of them would ever go out with me. Through all these years I just stay away from women, because I don’t want to get close to them and get rejected. This ending semester I asked out a girl and she said yes, but then later told me that she has a boyfriend, but why in the hell did she not tell me that before? I even told her she can be honest with me. But all I want to say is there is no answer for me. My brother has been with his gf for 3 years and evethroughe I know has their better half. But I have come to realize that I am ok being alone, because I cannot seem to get any girl interested in me and I hate being the 3rd wheel, 5th wheel etc. That’s why I never go out with people that are couples, because what’s the point? Anyways, just wanted to get some answers.
Having a relationship is very special, to be with that one you care about, but it is not what defines us as a person. Do not change who you are. I know what you are thinking when I say that, but how will I get a girl. If you change who you are, you will get the wrong girl for you. Patience is something that is needed in the dating world. You will meet someone and she will become your best friend. The person you call when you are sad and the person you call when something funny happens. The day will come. I promise.
August, Ugh… I had this all typed out on my phone… But damn it disappeared. So here I go once again! First off I met this guy online back in January. He turned out to be all the things that I wanted in a man. We took things pretty slow.. Got to know each other fairly well. He was going thru some struggles at the time, but he always kept this upbeat optimistic attitude. He makes me laugh, he is so adorably cute in every way. I know that I have fallen for him… It hurts me every time he rejects me. I see all the good in him. He would be an excellent father, he wears his heart on his sleeve, but yet guards it very closely. He is an amazing man… That seems to have absolutely no interest in me. Shouldn’t a man who has an interest as more than just friendship… Show that he cares? Seriously to believe that I would walk through fire for this guy. He doesn’t really even realize how much potential we have… Perhaps there is another who has caught his eye and heart? I dunno all I I do know is that my heart actually aches every time I think about him. I could learn to live with the fact that he cares for someone else… Just as long as he is truly happy. I just want to see him smile and make him happy… everyday of my life… So I guess I just want him happy and if that means it’s not with me I can learn to cope. I feel him slipping away., distancing himself from me…it worries and frightens me. I love this man! I fell in love with him before we met in person even. I never thought that would be something I would do…. But it happened and I love him. Please help me understand. I’m a confused woman.
I think that the struggles may be the key here. Have you talked to him lately about those same struggles? It seems that he could still be fighting with inner demons that no one has any clue about. You may have to corner him into it, but chances are he will talk about it. As for seeing it, not knowing his past makes it kind of difficult for me to judge what exactly is going on here. I do believe that if you have talked this long that he does care for you and that is a start. As for finding someone else, if he doesn’t seem happy chances are that is not it at all. I think I am going to take a stab in the dark and say, he may not be ready for a relationship just yet. I know that is not what you want to hear, but I think pain and struggles can cause a man to believe things that are not actually true about one’s self. As for the falling in love before you met. That happens all the time in today’s world. It does suck and causes more grief than it really should. As long as you have met him in person, I think you are in the clear. I think you just need to ask him what is wrong and just keep seeing if he is doing fine or not. Chances are that he is not.
If you have a question about dating, love, sex, or other send me a message anonymously all you have to do is click thebuzzkillmagazine.com/askaugust, and I will answer them next week.