Have you ever given your older friend a strange look for busting out in the lyrics that you had no idea where they came from? Well, this is where you just might be able to find the particular song you are loathing. Personally, I will bust out in the most random renditions of on the spur of a moment which gets the stares. Very few seem to understand, but a few are old enough to remember. I give to you, my 7 cheesiest boy band songs. I hope you are able to relive the nightmare.

#7: 3 Deep: Can’t get over you
Made up of Eddie Cibran, Joshua Morrow, and CJ Huyer this band’s success was limited to Canada, Europe, and Asia. I will assume it’s because of their overly cheesy look, and lame lyrics. With only 24,794 views on YouTube since its posting in 2001, this band wreaks of desperation and lameness.

#6: Color Me Badd: I Wanna Sex You Up
This band originated from Oklahoma City, OK and this song was released in 1991. The only thing I can really say is that they held true to the boy band facade. Cheesy less than well thought lyrics, and a terrible Mish mosh of guys who don’t even look like they’d hang in the same clique. I definitely wouldn’t want anyone to know I’ve ever even listened to them.

#5: 98 Degrees: The Hardest Thing:
This pop r&b song was released in 1998, and the hardest thing I ever had to do was listening to this song repeatedly because everyone thought they were so ‘hot’. Nick and Drew Lachey, Justin Jeffre, and Jeff Timmons couldn’t even make my temperature rise beyond the body’s normal 98.6 degrees. These guys just weren’t my type of douche looking jocks. Seriously, it’s pretty effortless to look them in the eye and tell them I don’t love them.

#4: B2K: Bump, Bump, Bump:
Released in 2002 this video made me want to bump, bump, bump my radio to anything but this song. I’m sorry, but you can’t be a “ghetto queen” or “sexy in the club” when you haven’t even hit puberty. The band name of B2K stood for ‘Boys of the new Millennium’ but Omarion was the only one in the group to ever have any success in the millennium with 3 albums since the disbandment in 2003. Even the famous ‘P Diddy’ couldn’t help them.

#3: LFO: Summer Girls:
Yes, New Kids On the Block had lots of hits, lots more than the Lyte Funky Ones. White ‘rappers’ were just not cool, unless you’re Vanilla Ice. I have to give them credit for looking the part of super douchy pretty boys. It’s just too bad that they weren’t as catchy as this particular song. Sadly, Rich died of leukemia in 2010. I guess all he really had time for were the summer girls of 1999 when the song was released.

#2: O-Town: All or Nothing:
This song was one of the first ‘love ballads’ changing school dances EVERYWHERE! I remember enjoying this song until it was ran into the ground. I am going to guess that the careers of Erik Estrada, Jacob Underwood, Trevor Penick, Dan Miller, and Ashley Angel did indeed with a simple telephone call. It would seem that they put their all into something that ended up to be nothing, and now no one has room in their life for them.

#1: Hanson: Mmm Bop:
All I can say is mmm… YES! I loved this trio of brothers from the middle of nowhere. Tulsa isn’t exactly in the middle of nowhere, or even the middle of the great state of Oklahoma, but who cares? Issac, Taylor, and Zac had me mesmerized with this hit single in 1997 at my ripe age of 13. I was actually convinced that they were men from Milwaukee and were likely stoners. That was probably my attraction. I don’t know if anyone still cares, but Hanson is still making music, their last album titled ‘Anthem’ released in 2013. Will they make more music? That’s a secret no one knows.

That my fellow readers are my top 7 layers of cheesy boy bands. I as a child of the mid to late 80’s, 90’s, and the early 2000’s loved almost every raunchy moment of it. Now, as I near that dirty thirty I enjoy making fun my myself, and all of the fun that was had. I guess you really do never forget the things of your childhood. Though I never really fell into that trap of growing up. In case you were unaware, growing up is the biggest trap you could ever fall into, DON’T do it.

About the author

Peony Ann

I am a mostly misunderstood child of the corn, born and raised in rural Illinois turned self-proclaimed writer with random, yet passionate opinions and views. It seems that I am self-taught because I was a stoner slack ass in high school who thought it’d be better to fuck around and see what kind of trouble I could make rather than to concentrate on a formal education. Who uses algebra in a corn field anyway?

My mission in life is to be me, be happy, and FTW if they don’t like it. I used to know what I really wanted in life. Since I was 5 years old, all I wanted was to be married to the same woman my entire life, be a doctor, a writer, to have a litter all my own, and to be the “token ‘hot’ Asian” in most settings. I just wasn’t sure how I felt about being a boy, because girls were just so much prettier. Now, as I approach my dirty 30, I have accomplished only one of those things successfully because, well, I’m Asian and we breed like rabbits, resulting in my litter of 5.

I aim to please, entertain and boggle with “WTF?!” moments. I even throw around a little poetry. Some will find me apPAULing, others hilarious, and some would maybe even call me a messed up kind of special. Those are the ones nearest and dearest to me who paid for all of those bibs, large crayons, and the occasional straight jacket to provide my short bus driver with for her own protection. Oh, and the ones who supported me through the transformational surgeries from Paul to Peony. I just wanted to be a delicate fucking flower, is that so wrong? P.S. I love my new tits!