This is something that I am new at. I have heard horror stories and am honestly worried it‘s going to well, so the shit has to hit the fan, right? Maybe that‘s just my negativity hard at work. If you‘ve read my previous work, you know I‘m insecure and hard to deal with in general. Cage is awesome and, for whatever reason, loves me. We compromise well. However, I am filling the mom/wife role. No, it‘s not anything I‘m new to, but at the same time, it is. My kiddos (Luke and Leia) are 8 & 10. I now have a 9, 12, and 13 years old as well. I call them mine, and I take care of them like they are mine. I try very hard not to make a difference in the kids. I‘m not from a broken home, so this is something that is very much new to me. I follow Cage’s lead as much as possible because this is his second time around.
So, when it comes down to a fight, what do you do? When the 13-year-old and the 8-year-old get into it, how do you handle it? They weren’t the only ones involved (it became a family affair) but, Cage set them all down, and we let them tell the story. What I took from it, Luke was badgering the 13-year-old about making Tea (yeah, you read that right). She had said she would make some and couldn’t because there wasn’t any tea. Naturally, the 8-year-old popped off that she had ‘lied‘ about making tea and made the 13-year-old mad. There was some nudging involved that turned into a brawl.
This is where my momma bear side kicks in. First off, the 13-year-old has a good 65 pounds on the 8-year-old. There‘s no fight there; he‘s just getting beat up. (No, nothing bad, but he did get a busted lip out of it) So my 10-year-old jumps on the 13-year-old‘s back (defending her brother) and gets her head knocked in the process. The 12-year-old boy and the 9-year-old girl comes in and busts it up. No actual damage was done, and I‘m grateful. It could have ended a lot worse. We had a talk with all of them, but when Cage and I were alone, I wanted him to know that I didn’t find that acceptable at all. If she has anger issues, this should be dealt with by professionals. She shouldn’t get to beat up her siblings just because she can. She may be the biggest now, but what happens when the boys hit their growth spurts? They will get her back. I made that clear too.
That has been a main ‘discussion‘ between Cage and I. His oldest doesn’t get into trouble like the rest. He told me it‘s because she pulled all A’s and had never been in any trouble. Now she‘s in trouble and not pulling all A’s, but is still doing everything. This is something I point out. Especially when the 12-year-old hasn’t been in any trouble and had all A’s. Since it‘s tough to know when to pick your battles, I feel so far I‘m doing well. Cage and I will take a walk if we are heated about something because we don’t want the kids to see us fight (or hear us). Other than that, we talk it out. It‘s done wonders so far. Just hoping it continues.