56u70eCould I get a few million to get the stress of life off my shoulders, please? Yes, I know it‘s a lot. I‘ve been good all my life and feel like I‘m owed something. Last year, you granted me an early Christmas present, my divorce. Now, if you could pull through for me and the kids on some moneywe‘d all appreciate it. Also, could you get Cage to keep a promise? That‘d be nice too. I’d like a Maserati to drive back and forth to work. I’ll take a Louis Vuitton Eclipse handbag with matching wallet to carry the cash. To please the children: just buy them one of everything at Walmart. Jeez, they are greedy! (LOL) I’ll also take 410 Barton as well. The house is big and beautiful, just what we need. I’ll take the body of a 25-year-old too, but I’ll need a bigger freezer. (jk!) I’ll need a staff at home because with that kind of cash; I’ll have to be a stuck up bitch.

In all honesty, Santa, if you‘d just keep my kids all: happy, healthy, alive, and well that‘s all I need. Some alone time with Cage would be great as well, but I’ll take family time anytime I can get it. I want you to take anything extra you have to those kids who literally have nothing. To the family I can’t see this holiday season, give them my love and well wishes.

With love,
Emerson

 

 

About the author

Emerson Braddock

Hello people! I am Emerson and I am a geek. I enjoy making people laugh and don’t mind being the butt of the joke. Though I usually make others the butt of jokes. Well, enough about butts. I have two kids who are my whole world and are commonly referred to as Luke and Leia. My love life is laughable and I don’t see an end to that any time soon. So if you think I’m pathetic, just keep reading what I write cause it gets worse. You may end up feeling better about yourself.