Okay, so, how the hell do we ever really know what our other halves are thinking? I am jealous, insecure, and (my favorite) the ice queen. Once you cut ties with me, I’m done. Yeah, that can be heartless, but at the same time, I think it could be the best thing for me. I use it to protect myself. If someone hurts you so bad; IE: my ex-leaving me, then why go back to them to give them the chance to do it again. My ex-tries often to give me advice. I use the Wreck it Ralph “Thanks, Satan.” meme more than I should. I’m not even sure he gets it. Maybe it’s because I call him el diablo and not Satan. I bet that is it. I should be clearer.

woman-breaking-up-with-manNeedless to say, when Cage talks to his ex, a little more of the ice queen comes out. This bitch cut off all contact with him for 5 months. When he saw her in those 5 months, it was to sign divorce papers. She completely cut him out of her life and moved on. Who was there to see him fall apart? Who was getting him to bed on those drunken nights he can’t remember much of? Me. Who was there when the bitch found out we were together and called him at 11:15pm begging him to move her back to Nashville and make everything better again? Me. Who catches the hurt and anger from when she calls and upsets him because of her bullshit? Me. I know he still has to feel something for her, and it bothers me to no end. It hurts me to see him get so upset over her when he’s making love to me and telling me he loves me. Does that make sense to you?

This is where I figure I’m just a bitch. When she pulled the “I’m just gonna kill myself” bullshit, I’m the one in the background saying “Tell her to go ahead. World would be a better place.” Suicide is not a laughing matter, I know. It has hit close to home a few times, and I can guaran-fucking-tee you that none of those truly lost souls called anyone to have a pity party before hand. It was a plea for his attention, and it worked. Just like every time she calls him with some other bull-pay attention to me shit; I damn near flip my lid! No, I don’t think he wants her back. I think he’s still trying to get over her. Why is he in such a real, in-depth relationship with me? Why go that far, if you aren’t ready? I was told he didn’t want to lose me. I get that. At the same time, it’s not fair to me or my kids.

Bottom line don’t fuck around with me. If you don’t want me, let me know. I can make my way elsewhere. Done it before, I’m certain I can do it again. I want a relationship that I’m secure in. Don’t let your ex be such a constant in our relationship and give me the same respect I give you. It’s not that hard. Well, I don’t think so.

Ice Queen out.

xoxo,
Em