Welcome to the return of Nerdgasm. The idea of having a Nerdgasm is that something gets a person so excited that they squee their pants off. Yes, squee seems like the appropriate term as it is part of the Nerd Dialect. A squee can from a video game, movie, book, television series, or anything else that excites a person down to their core.
I want to talk about my latest squee moment and something that has been on my bucket list for years, but first a little backstory.
I was a young boy who grew up in a small town. My hometown is so small, mirrors were added to the welcome signs so the town looked bigger. Growing up in a small town, I realized that there are only a few things that a child could do besides hang out with friends. One of those things would be to drink, and since I didn’t have my first drink till I was 22…yes I was one of those kids. The other would be smoke. I did smoke once when I was 4, but in all fairness I kept demanding that I smoke with my mom. She decided to make that dream a reality and haven’t really touched cigs since. I will, however, smoke a clove cigarette occasionally, but only because it taste like Christmas ham. The one thing that I was privileged to do is have television time with my family. One night stood out over the rest. Mondays!
Monday night was something sacred in my house. Homework would even be done as soon as I walked in the door because of the importance of what was going to be on television. 8 o’clock would roll around, and my butt would be glued to the couch with a bowl of extra butter popcorn in one hand and a soda in the other. I was ready to escape for the next two hours, and nothing would stop that.
I think many of you can remember what was on Monday nights and still to this day what is on Monday. Professional Wrestling. I was such a huge fan, and I am telling a story about myself that is somewhat embarrassing as a 31-year-old male. I would go outside with a boombox with my favorite song at the time. At this point in my young life, all I truly knew was country music. So walking down the strip of grass that was cut extra short, so it resembled an isle for a wrestlers entrance to Achy Breaky Heart may not have been the best idea. On one side of the isle was a fence to a field. So….That would be the railing to the sea of humanity. I sound even more like a dork the more I type this out. I would also slap the tall blades of grass as I would be slapping hands with the fans. Of course I was a good guy, it would be in my later years that I would realize it would be more fun to be a bad guy. I had a ring as well. I used four wooden tomato stakes as the posts and rope that was found in my Dad’s work area. I did have three ropes, so that was a plus. As I made my entrance to thousands waving (grass blades) standing in the ring was my arch enemies. A Hulk Hogan wrestling buddy that didn’t mind doing the job, (losing) and his partner in crime a 5-foot log. Yes, a log. The log would always double as the big guy that no one could body slam except the hero. As I channeled my inner Lex Luger on the USS Intrepid on July 4th, 1993, I bodyslammed that log and the grass went wild. Lucky for me it was a windy day.
Needless to say, that part of me never grew up. I am still a fan and Monday’s are still the day to me. One of my biggest dreams is to see a Monday Night Raw taping live. I know not really reaching out the box but never had the opportunity to go until this Monday. The men and women that go out there each and every night do it because they love to do it. They love the fans. And I respect everything they do to entertain people each night. Yes, it is entertainment. However, there is something about wrestling that will bring the same child out in me that sat on that couch with popcorn and a soda. The next two nights as I am going to a live show in town as well, I get to relive my childhood and nerd out with thousands of people who are going to be doing the same. I don’t think that life can get any better than that.