nerds-vs-geeks_531d53fba639f_w1500When I go to my family’s house that I never see throughout the year, I feel like a pig surrounded by hungry Americans. Why must they ask all sorts of questions? I mean if they are really interested in what I am doing these days, wouldn’t they take the time through out the year to see how or what I am doing? Since my grandmother passed away, my Aunt and Uncle have been having all the Holidays at their house. I love them to death but I always feel like the black sheep of the family because my mother and everyone else don’t get along. Ah hell why am I trying to lie, I am the Black Sheep of the family. I am a loner, I am the geek, I am the nerd (and I believe there is a HUGE difference between geek and nerd) I am my father’s daughter, my mothers mini me and I am one proud single mother! I think I really just go around the family that never includes me is because I want my son to feel like he is part of something more than I can offer him at this time. But the more I think about it, I think I am teaching him that family ties are only important for the Holidays and not through out the year.

Christmas is a time to celebrate with family right? No. Christmas to me is for people related to you who get together and pretend that they give a shit about you.  Maybe things would be different in my eyes if I was included in family things like say….Birthdays….Family coming in from out of town…Weddings…Easter, ect.  I am friends with them on Facebook yet I am the last to know anything! Someone can die in my family and I can find out about it from Dicks sisters Aunt Patty’s neighbors hair dresser when I happen to be in her chair to get my hair did!  You know how hair dressers are. 🙂 So why do I really want to be apart of that? I will have to think about that one for a bit.

Gimli_-_FOTRWhen I do go over to my Aunt and Uncle’s house, I feel like the Dwarves when they were captured by Mirkwood Elves. The scene I am referring to is In The Hobbit The Desolation of Smug. When Legolas is talking to Gloin and he is looking at the picture Gloin had in his pocket and says “Who is this, your brother?” Gloin says “That is my wife.” Legolas says “What is this horrid creature?” “Thats me wee lad, Gimli.”  Or when Logalas is given the ancient Elvish blade that belonged to Thorin and Legolas says to Thorin “Not just a thief, but a liar as well.”  I feel like I am Gollum playing the riddle game with Bilbo Baggins and we all know Biblo ends up with the precious. (The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey)  For once I just want to be Tauriel when Kili looks at her.  Loved, wanted, needed, and accepted for who I am, because I not am like them.