Dear Santa;

This letter has taken on a number of forms over the previous few weeks. Honestly, most of it has been pretty bleak. I’m going to be nakedly honest, this year has been an extremely hard one for me. I mean, I get that everyone goes through the requisite pain and strife at one point but 2015 will go down as a particularly rough one. My grandma has fallen extremely ill and it’s put tremendous strain on me and my immediate family. The love of my life decided that she and I were no longer good together and we decided to go our separate ways. Work has also put an almost Herculean amount of stress on top of everything else as well. In short… I’ve come very close to booking myself a padded four walled room at the local looney bin. Couple that with someone who really isn’t a fan of the holiday you preside over Mr. Claus and you have the makings of someone who was ready to tear you to shreds. Yet… I find myself at a bit of a crossroads. I don’t feel the overwhelming desire to indulge in the usually vicious sort of barbs I like slinging your way.

While I still despise your holiday with a vicious hatred, I feel like I’m starting to come around to the brand of whimsy and magic. I’m not all the way there but I can see how your legend brings light to people’s lives. So instead of ripping you to shreds, I’m gonna go ahead and proceed with a small list of requests and a few things I’m thankful for. I know the whole “thank” aspect is soooo last month, but the one big thing I’m thankful for fell right on your holiday so I’m coming to you ya jolly candy cane eating fat-ass.

promotion-shots-the-force-awakensFirst I’d really like a time machine so I can jump ahead 2 years to the day Star Wars: Episode VIII comes out. The Force Awakens was just recently released and to say I’ve been excited is as severe an understatement as one can make. I’m so excited in fact that I want to have the ability to jump forward in time so I can watch the next movie and have all the questions I have answered. I want to see more of the adventures of Finn, Rey and Kylo Ren. I NEED more Star Wars in my life and I’m an impatient nerd who doesn’t want to wait 2 years for the next chapter… Give it to me now!!!

I’d also really like a winning lottery ticket. Sure there are a few things I’d like to selfishly splurge on, but mostly I want to pay off my bills and give proper gifts to my friends and loved ones. Money has been extremely tight lately and I always feel extremely guilty around this time of year because I’m never able to properly afford gifts. I just want to show my friends and family how much they mean to me by going hog wild and getting them whatever their hearts desire. I’ve never been in that position before and it would be nice to not feel like a total shit for once.

I’d also really like to thank you for something. As shitty as things have been lately, I feel like I’ve started to re-capture that child like wonder I lost oh so long ago. A new Star Wars movie, the X Files coming back after more than 10 years away, the best of friends in the world supporting me every step of the way, a decent enough job and the gift of a new cat. Despite my financial strain… Other areas of my life have seen a drastic upswing. I’ve been learning to find solace in the little things to carry me through the harder days. While I know you’re not directly responsible for my new found sense of clarity Santa, I figure I should say thanks to you anyway. You represent many things to many people, not simply a guy in a red suit but a symbol of the way it’s still possible for the magic nature of life to seep through. What’s even more amazing is that your magic managed to change my opinion even a little bit. I’m far from becoming your biggest fan, but maybe there’s some hope for that to turn around. Having worked behind the counter on retail most of my life, I’ve seen the worst side of humanity. People who have lost all understanding of what the true meaning of the holiday is. The almighty dollar has completely corrupted people and distorted the meaning of togetherness. So I’m not so sure if my distaste of Christmas has come from years of being stuck in retail hell or if it’s rooted in a deeper problem.

Either way… it doesn’t matter. Though I have a long road to travel in terms of falling in love with the Christmas spirit again, I’m at least willing to try. I need this… I need to believe again. So if you’ll have me back Saint Nick…. I’m ready to come home.