This is a very special Public Service Announcement. If this were an actual Public Service Announcement, after reading this Tran Siberian Orchestra would start playing from every device that you own at an alarming sound. The sound will be so loud that it will rattle the windows and cause the dog to hike their leg on the Christmas Tree because he that is now his territory. And you do not mess with his tree because he will bite your ankle. In which it will cause you to fall taking out the Nativity Scene that has been passed down through 10 generations, but it will be forgiven because Jesus died for this sort of thing. That is what would happen if this were an actual PSA, but for your luck. It’s not. So, you are going to read this, and nothing will happen. Well, other than the idea of a new idea being placed in your mind. And that is what Christmas is about.

Before I start with this PSA, I want everyone to know that my birthday is in August. I want that to be on the record before we move forward making fun of you. I feel terrible for people who have a birthday in the month of December, especially in between the days of December 10th to the December 31st and even New Year’s Day can count on that as well. It is not their fault that their parents decided to procreate where they can be cheap. But do these people really deserve that? I get that we give gifts at Christmas. It is part of the customs that we have all learned to love. But if someone’s birthday falls within these days, why is it that people have the idea that it is alright to combine these gifts into a Merry Birthmas. Seriously, we buy two gifts for anyone else that has a birthday in the first 11 months of the year. And I know what you are thinking. Buying two gifts for someone in the month of December is ludicrous. The problem here is that you don’t want to buy two gifts in December. That does not mean you are saving money; that just means your ass is cheap. I get that. Every so often we have to live off of Ramen Noodles and government cheese. It’s just part of life. However, we still buy two gifts a year for all of these other people so why not do the same for the people who have a birthday around Christmas. Shoot, if the problem is buying two gifts in one month, change it up. Instead of giving them a Christmas present, give them a gift that represents another holiday, and even use one that is useless like Arbor Day. Just because someone is born around Christmas doesn’t give you the right to lump their birthday with Jesus’. Because no matter who you are, you just can’t compete with that even if you are Santa. Now, Cue, the More You Know Graphic and drink some Egg Nog.

About the author

Richard Pruitt

I am Richard and I have a problem. A problem with entertaining people. I have been in the comedy world for over 10 years. I started out as an improv actor making fun and light of everything. Doing that felt rewarding, but I have to admit, I wanted more. I couldn’t get the taste of performing out of my mouth. Does that not sound a little creepy? I decided to start doing my own stand up show. I love to make fun of my family and anything that will make a normal person say what the fuck. The journey still continues, in 2009, I had a dream to create my own online magazine. This is the beautiful corner of craziness in front of you. I have been through hell in my life but being stopped is something that I will not let happen. I am a fighter and hope to make people realize it is ok to smile and think from time to time. It also helps being a nerd.