Dear Santa,

First off, let me say that I love fat, hairy men. If you and the Mrs. ever split, holler at ya girl. So let’s get down to business now that the most important things has been said. I really did try this year but there are too many idiots running around that deserve coal and not nice, overpriced sweaters.

My wants are really pretty simple this year. I would like an unlimited supply of wine. I’m not too picky. It just needs to be sweet like me, please. I promise that I have been good and I really NEED…I mean deserve it.

Also, I would like 365 pairs of fuzzy, warm socks. Fuzzy socks make my soul happy and everyone loves a happy Nicole.

Next, I would like a pet pony named Charlie and I’m not picky on the color.

I’d also like my bills to stop showing up in my mailbox, if you could make that happen. Thanks!

I would like you to convince my boss that naps are necessary every day and twice on Mondays.

I really do need (yes – it is a need), Santa, a chef that makes me pancakes every morning and brings them to me in bed. The chef also could tell me that I was pretty, if I can just throw that in. The chef cannot judge me for eating 9 pancakes in one sitting.

I also want world peace and for everyone to get along.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Years, you filthy animals.


About the author

Nicole Bishop

Nicole Bishop

Hello TBK people! I'm Nicole, the new kid on the block. I have two kiddos and I'm getting married Oct 1st, 2016. I have a love for comedy and making people laugh. I'm outspoken, which could possibly be due to untreated ADHD with a touch of Tourette's syndrome. I have no filter to what I say. If I think it, I say. I have the soul of a hippie and truly stand for one love! I'm a positive Patty kinda gal. I want to build a wall like Donald Trump, but only to put negative Nancy people on one side and live in peace and love with my positive Patty people. I am an outdoorsy person and could spend every day by my pool, drinking wine, listening to 80's Rock and my soul would be content. I'm not familiar with most "nerd" culture, but I'm open to learning more as I become part of the TBK group.