Dear Santa from Manda

by | Dec 24, 2017

Dear Santa,

If I’m remembering correctly, we are now on year three where I send you a letter hoping by some miracle that you actually come through for me, only to be let down again. Well, here’s hoping third time’s a charm, huh? I’m pretty sure we’ve already established that I don’t believe in “asking Santa” for things like good health and peace on Earth and all that other heavy stuff some people tend to unload on ya this time of year. I believe those things should be left in the hands of the man upstairs, because…well, I was raised Catholic and despite my lack of faith sometimes, I still believe in the higher power even though I may not always (or ever) see proof of it. So, I’m gonna skip asking you for things that have to do with mine or my family or friends’ health, finances, or sanity. Those are the kinda things that require praying and more power than you maybe have. Am I right?

So once again, we’ve come to the point of my letter where I tell you that I have one dream, one major career goal, and if you can help to make that happen for me, I’ll never write you another letter as long as I live. Except to say thank you, of course, because that’s just the kind of well-mannered, polite human being my parents raised. Well, this year I’ve decided to change things up on you. You may be wondering why. Let me explain. I’ve been working hard towards this goal. I do what I can with the little bit of time and energy I have in between a full-time job and my family life. It definitely isn’t enough. I for sure need more time and I need more energy. I need to catch a break. But the way I look at it, I have the same number of hours in a day that Beyoncé has, right? Or so I’ve read in a meme somewhere floating around on social media. So, I’m going to just keep crunching away and making the time that I do have work in hopes my hard work pays off in a big way one day…preferably sooner than later.

So why am I writing you this letter then, right? I’m getting there. Sorry, I tend to get distracted and forget where I was going to begin with. Ok, so recently I was discussing with a friend how I’m generally very much a Scrooge during the holidays because I just really despise this time of year. During that conversation, though, I was reminded of the “magic” that the holiday season is supposed to be about as I was recalling a few moments growing up where that sentiment of holiday magic actually meant something to me. I think as we get older we tend to lose sight of that sentiment because it’s so easy to get caught up in the stress of everything that tends to attach itself to everything relating to the holidays. Personally, probably the biggest reason I tend to hate on the holidays so much (aside from all that other stress that accompanies it), is because I’ve seen it bring out the worst in people and that just makes me hate people even more than I usually do on a regular day to day basis. We’re not supposed to hate people at this time of year! I mean, I know we’re not technically supposed to hate anyone anyway, but let’s be real, some people just make it hard not to hate them.

Again, I digress. The point is this year I’d like to be reminded of that holiday magic I believed in as a kid. Maybe it’s silly and maybe it’s pointless, but as I reflect on everything going on in my life right now, it’s occurred to me that maybe that’s all I need. Maybe I just need to witness a “magical” moment in order to “believe” again. As a kid the idea of being surprised by the unexpected was way more exciting than it is now as an adult. I’m not sure why that is, but I’m sure there’s an extensive psychological reasoning behind it that we don’t have time to get into right now. My problem is that somewhere along the way I lost my sense of faith because I stopped experiencing those moments that instill it in you. It’s hard to believe when you never see things worth believing in. I know it’s not very good logic. Believe me, I’ve been lectured on the subject numerous times by mother. You’d like her. Her favorite expression when my brother and I were growing up (and to this day she still says it) was, “If you don’t believe then you don’t receive.” Well Santa, I don’t want to believe just so I can get what I want. I want to believe because I think it’s important to. I think we should all believe in the possibility that amazing even if simple things can happen if we simply just believe in the possibility. Have I lost you yet in my rambling? This is what happens when I have too much time to think.

Anyway, if you could just maybe do something this holiday season that would give me reason to believe again, that’d be great. That’s all I really want. Ya see, as a kid when something “magical” happens you’re left awed by it, wide eyed with wonder. As an adult I’m finding those moments to be few and far between, thus decreasing my willingness to believe in the idea that “magical” things can happen. I want to be awed and left wide eyed with wonder again, Santa. I think it’s what I need. So if you understood anything I just wrote to you, and you can actually give me one of those “magical” moments I’ve been talking about, in any shape or form, big or small, then I would appreciate it more than you will ever really know.


Rambling Manda