The holidays are full of smells. Yes, that sentence was weird to type but hear me out. Whether it be that candle supposedly smelling like a tree but really just smells like stagnant body odor, or the scent of sugar cookies baking in the oven, it just screams Christmas. And while our nose is put through holiday hell of being hit by scent after scent. I am surely positive that one of the scents that I never wanted my house to smell like was the inside of a KFC. Well, KFC wants to change just that.
Yes, you read that right. Over the past 48 hours, the chain is known for frying chicken that only people from Kentucky will understand, released a Yule log that will make your house smell like the Colonel’s eleven herbs and spices. I am not sure how I am supposed to feel about this idea. On the one hand, I really love fried chicken. Fried chicken may be right behind steak as my number one food. So, having my house smell like fried chicken would be a great thing. However, on the other hand, it’s not going to smell like good fried chicken. KFC is fine if you have never ate fried chicken in your life. I remember having mom’s fried chicken on a Sunday afternoon and it being delicious. If I wanted KFC, I would take that chicken and somehow cooked it in enough grease to lube up the tires of an eighteen-wheeler. Will it be a soggy yule log? I am not sure about any of you, but I am sure the last time I had a crispy piece of KFC chicken was in the early 90s. And that may be a fluke.
And the damn 11 herbs and spices Yule Log sold out. Someone on Christmas morning will open the gift of gifts from their significant other and instead will get a KFC Yule Log. Not only would I be weirded out, but it’s just the smell. You can’t even eat a piece of wood. Well, you can. But your anus may not be the happiest afterward. If you want a straight up meat party, light the yule log from KFC and the A1 Steak Sauce Candle. I bet that the riff will occur in the time/space continuum. Or you will pass out and wake up only wearing a JoJo hairbow.
Now, if they can somehow make the fluffiness of a Bojangles biscuit into pillow form, I am there. Also, KFC will never be a sponsor. Another dream that must burn in flames.