Apple’s $1000 Computer Stand……..WTF?!?!?!!?!?!


When it comes to brands, I have never really been a fanboy. Unless it’s Pepsi. I am sure you can find running through my veins just like Hulk Hogan had the red, white, and blue running through his. So, when I decided to jump into the world of smartphones, or what I like to call them, Elderly Confusing Devices, I wanted to find the right one for me. The first smartphone I ever owned was an iPhone 3GS. And to this day, possibly my favorite phone I have ever owned. The phone worked as if it was powered by the Oompa Loompas in Wonka’s chocolate factory. The 3GS became my best friend. Hell, I even jailbroke that phone. I wanted free apps. And with time, I wanted to purchase a Mac to work from instead of a PC. But last week Apple made an announcement that left me scratching my head. An announcement that I am still not sure how to process.

Apple

If you think this is about iTunes being killed off, you are mistaken. Trust me. At times using iTunes makes me feel like I am still using Real Player if that is still a thing. No, it is the other announcement from Apple. The company’s latest foray into the Mac family. A $5000 computer with a resolution of 6k. I am not even sure what that means. But the issue comes when the consumer finds out that the Computer does not have a stand. And that it comes separately. And that the stand costs as much as a freaking PC. Apple is giving the consumers a $1000 computer stand. At that price that freaking stand needs to win gold at a Summer Olympics.



One thousand dollars for a computer stand. Let me put this into perspective. There are people in this country who could pay their rent for two to three months on the price of a computer stand. I am going to be watching Live PD one night and a call is going to come in that a house was robbed. And the robbers only took one thing, a fucking Apple computer stand. You could buy three Nintendo Switches. You could buy a hairless cat and enter cat shows to try to win that coveted County Fair Blue Ribbon. What in the hell is Apple thinking?

A&E

I enjoy Apple products, but at this point, they are just taking their fanboys and treating them like a nerdy kid in a cartoon. Think of Apple as the bully holding a scrawny 100-pound kid upside down shaking the money out of their pockets. And here is the worst part, people are going to buy it. Someone is going to spend one thousand on a stand for a computer. This is why we can’t have nice things. So, the stand has an integrated arm that will allow you to put the screen in any position you want. If you actually buy a one thousand dollar computer stand, you should be ridiculed on the internet for all eternity.

The computer stand costs more than an iPhone, a device you will use every day. I am positive this would not have happened if Steve Jobs were still alive. And second, a computer stand could be the most requested item for Sugar Daddies to buy. That just hurts my heart.


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Richard Pruitt
I am Richard and I have a problem. A problem with entertaining people. I have been in the comedy world for over 10 years. I started out as an improv actor making fun and light of everything. Doing that felt rewarding, but I have to admit, I wanted more. I couldn’t get the taste of performing out of my mouth. Does that not sound a little creepy? I decided to start doing my own stand up show. I love to make fun of my family and anything that will make a normal person say what the fuck. The journey still continues, in 2009, I had a dream to create my own online magazine. This is the beautiful corner of craziness in front of you. I have been through hell in my life but being stopped is something that I will not let happen. I am a fighter and hope to make people realize it is ok to smile and think from time to time. It also helps being a nerd.
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