5 Television Ads That Will Make You Smile and Then Hate Yourself

Remember the days of television before everyone cut the cord or had DVRs? During that time, we would have to watch commercials. Heaven forbid those extra few minutes between parts of a show would hurt you. And during that time, we would be witness to ads trying to sell us burgers with a scantily clad Paris Hilton, or the possibility of seeing a gecko tell us that switching insurance companies would completely change your life. But every once in awhile an ad would come along that would become a ringtone or even the background for a text. And this is a countdown of ads that will be stuck in your head and will give you fun fuzzy memories.

#5: Besides Kel, who loves orange soda? Well, I guess it would be the people at Coca-Cola. Fanta was created in 1940 Germany and since that period of time, the only time a Fanta would be consumed would be when someone would need to bring a soda to a church potluck.  But in the early 2000s, that all changed with an ad campaign with four women dressed as in four colors, representing the flavors of Fanta. And that song would haunt a generation. And I was apart of that generation. And every so often, I would ask myself if I really want to Fanta?

#4: I honestly wish I could win the lottery or somehow get hit by a station wagon in a Wal Mart parking lot. My reasoning is so I could have an annuity or cash settlement and be able to call JG Wentworth. I remember the days of watching Jerry Springer and opera singers would belt out “it’s my money and I need it now.” And I just wanted to experience that feeling one time. Especially if it is like a York Peppermint Patty.

#3: College can be difficult. And finding the right school is one huge part of a pain staking process. But when Al Gore invented the internet, (hint sarcasm) little did we know we would be able to go to school from the comfort of our own home. And we would be able to go to school on our own time. So, que Education Connection. The song may have been the catchiest in television ad history. Now it is your turn to suffer the hell of loving, hating, and loving this jingle again.

#2: Credit scores piss me off. Without a credit score, you are not able to get a home, a job, and possibly must work at a Renaissance Faire. Sites would allow a person to check their credit score for free, but then charge you after a trial. And one of those sites that would take your money after not reminding you about the trial ending was FreeCreditReport. And when the site decided to take to the small screen, they decided to hire a catchy band to sing little jingles to promote the website. And each song would become a ringtone on my Motorola Razr.

#1: Maybe the greatest line ever uttered in a television ad came from a gum company. Orbitz had a campaign about helping dirty mouths get clean. I remember the first time I heard the line, “Who are you calling a cootie queen? You Lint Licker!” And thus a meme would be born and a moment of iconic television that needs to be seen by everyone.

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Richard Pruitt
I am Richard and I have a problem. A problem with entertaining people. I have been in the comedy world for over 10 years. I started out as an improv actor making fun and light of everything. Doing that felt rewarding, but I have to admit, I wanted more. I couldn’t get the taste of performing out of my mouth. Does that not sound a little creepy? I decided to start doing my own stand up show. I love to make fun of my family and anything that will make a normal person say what the fuck. The journey still continues, in 2009, I had a dream to create my own online magazine. This is the beautiful corner of craziness in front of you. I have been through hell in my life but being stopped is something that I will not let happen. I am a fighter and hope to make people realize it is ok to smile and think from time to time. It also helps being a nerd.
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