The studio that thought they could do a Spider Man franchise better than the MCU took another step towards their own goals today. The teaser trailer for the film adaptation of MORBIUS dropped and I’m not gonna lie… I kind of forgot this movie was even a thing. Morbius is not exactly amongst Spidey’s most well-known villains and didn’t really seem like the type of property ripe for wide public consumption. Yet here we sit on the precipice of this things release and I still don’t really have much of a reaction. This trailer looks exactly like the type of film VENOM was when that was released.

However, VENOM ended up being a really crazy gonzo carnival ride of awesomeness anchored on an all time so bad its amazing performance from Tom Hardy. That movie defied all expectations in spite of its rather lackluster promotional campaign and ended up rather perfect.

Sadly, I do not think MORBIUS is going to be pulling that particular rabbit out of its hat this time around. This looks like a generic 90’s anti-hero comic book movie somewhere in the vein (PUN ABSOLUTELY INTENDED) of Blade. Leto is an absolutely fantastic actor and he seems to be doing his best here, but every frame of this 3 minutes lends itself to varying degrees of blandness. This is literally going to end up the same plot as the previously mentioned 90’s film. Brooding anti-hero ends up a NOT vampire, gains amazing super powers, has to fight urge to drink blood, saves the day from real menace at the last minute. Again… nothing exciting on display here

The real reason I even half way enjoyed this trailer was the stinger at the very end. I won’t explicitly spell it out for you here but… yes, I will. Michael Keaton’s version of The Vulture shows up at the end and then WHAM trailer over. What this could possibly mean for the Spider verse and the plans that Sony has could be huge. Imagine a world where Tom Holland as Spider Man has to go up against the likes of Leto as Morbius, Keaton as Vulture, Jake Gyllenhaal as Mysterio, Tom Hardy as Venom, Bokeem Woodbine as Shocker and Donald Glover as The Prowler.

Did your head just explode? Because mine sure as hell did. Maybe just maybe Sony is playing the long game and actually in an even bigger twist proves they know what they’re doing. A Sinister Six film with those actors including Holland’s Spider Man would likely be as big as anything the MCU does going forward. I for one would very much like to see that movie. Unfortunately, we have to wade through the woefully generic looking MORBIUS before we get there.

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Brodie Mann

I suppose my story begins(as most do) on the day of my birth. I mean, i’d like to sit here and tell you about the ticker tape parade that was thrown in my honor, or that my being vaginally farted into the world signaled a time of unbridled peace and love throughout the galaxy, but i will do my best to try and be humble about my epic origins. Truth is my real origin is as ordinary as apple pie. I was hobbled together from various body parts of criminals on death row who opted to be organ donors. I suppose you could say I’m the Bizarro six million dollar man (but judging by my appearance you couldn’t tell they spent more than a few shillings on me). In between being chased by townsfolk with pitchforks and torches opposed to the “abomination” of my existence i have developed a passion for writing. The only thing that can match such lofty desires would be a lifelong passion for film. I mean I’m quite nerdy about lots of things (video games, comic books, music, etc…) but cinema in all its shiny golden splendor has captured my attention more than anything else. It’s something I try to share with the world at large, as much as possible. I figure if i can find the magic in such things, maybe i can help others do so as well. I’ve written quite a few poems(mostly about my first few years as a dime store knockoff Mary Shelly creation) but have stuck to mostly movie reviews. I am quite elated to be able to relate my thoughts and opinions on all things film with those who take the time to read them. I hope to have a positive impact here on the site and am looking forward to not only working with the staff currently in place but being able to reach a wider audience as well. P.S. If some of my work comes off a bit sloppy and meandering, its just because the doctor responsible for the stitch job on my cranial cavity didn’t do that great job and my brain has fallen out of the hole in my head they used to pump blood into. Cheers Mates!!
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