Chuck E. Cheese……..WTF?!?!?!?!


At this point, it’s fair to say that 2020 is the darkest timeline. COIVD-19, Murder Hornets, protesters who claim their freedoms are taken away, but still sure the bill of rights are still in existence, and you can one more thing to the list. I never thought I would be sitting here talking about Chuck E. Cheese, but this year has been a mind fuck.

So, Chuck E Cheese……What the Fuck?

This is kind of shit you see in horror movies.

I thought 2019 was bad for the over-priced arcade with slightly below average frozen pizza, but 2020 said hold my game token.

Let’s start with a little story about last year. Youtuber Shane Dawson posted a conspiracy theory video discussing that Chuck E. Cheese will reuse pizza leftover from other customers to reserve. And while the company denied the claims from Dawson, it sure as hell looked like they are guilty. I am still trying to figure out pieces are different sizes. And not in the way that some our large and small, I mean this in the way of length. That is what she said. Also, how do the lines of the slices not line up? The only way this can can be explained is aliens gave the pizza chain some new-fangled pizza cutting device or the person cutting the pizza is having a seizure.

I didn’t think they would top that situation, but holy hell, they proved me wrong. As many of you know COVID-19 changed the world and restaurants starting offering curbside service along with delivery though food delivering apps. But Chuck E. Cheese is an arcade pizza place. So, how would they make it through the coronavirus era? By changing their name to make people think they are ordering from a new pizza place in town.

If Super Mario and Chef Boyardee had a baby.

Enter, Pasqually’s Pizza and Wings. I never thought that mouse would stoop lower than teaching kids how to gamble at a young age but here we are. Pasqually’s is named after one of the characters in this animatronic rat band that played shows at the place that made parents want to drink. This is what nightmares are made of. I never want to feel the feeling of excitement about a pizza to only learn it comes from Chuck E. Cheese. Have you ever tried their pizza? Throw some pepperonis and government cheese on a cardboard disk, and you have a better pizza.

The company created a dummy company so they could deliver “food.”. Another animated cartoon mouse has fooled me. I am not sure how to feel about this matter other than I am going to eat my weight in Popeyes Chicken, because I am sure that place will not let me down.


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Richard Pruitt
I am Richard and I have a problem. A problem with entertaining people. I have been in the comedy world for over 10 years. I started out as an improv actor making fun and light of everything. Doing that felt rewarding, but I have to admit, I wanted more. I couldn’t get the taste of performing out of my mouth. Does that not sound a little creepy? I decided to start doing my own stand up show. I love to make fun of my family and anything that will make a normal person say what the fuck. The journey still continues, in 2009, I had a dream to create my own online magazine. This is the beautiful corner of craziness in front of you. I have been through hell in my life but being stopped is something that I will not let happen. I am a fighter and hope to make people realize it is ok to smile and think from time to time. It also helps being a nerd.
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