Donald Trump Believes The Novel Coronavirus is a Fancy Way of Saying Vampire

Transylvania DC (TBK) – President Donald Trump is looking to ease social distancing guidelines as he pushes for the country to reopen. Over the past few weeks, the president spoke about remedies for COVID-19 that could be game changers that turned out to be more like a roll of snake eyes. Studies have shown Hydroxychloroquine to not be as effective against the novel coronavirus as he once touted. Two weeks ago, Trump suggested the possible injections of disinfectant and bleach to possibly clean the body. But late tomorrow night, we received intelligence from an individual on the inside of the Trump White House.

The confidential intel touts one treatment the president talked about for a brief few seconds before discussing the idea about using disinfectant. President Trump believes that sunlight and UV light will stop to spread of COVID-19. The president is also eating more garlic seasoning on his food and is carrying around a wooden stake. Trump is on record in these closed door meetings discussing the lamestream media coverup of COVID-19 and how the virus turns individuals into vampires.

COVID-19 or MAKER-19 as the term the White House uses behind closed doors, causes a person to sleep more during the day. The virus does not like sunlight. Garlic can reduce a person’s blood pressure and also cause the blood to not smell as appealing to a vampire. This would also explain why the CDC and The WHO is telling the world population to cough like a vampire.

President Trump believes the economy will bounce back because of the sell of Silver. Silver is known to injure vampires.

Trump is also afraid that if this knowledge leaked to the American people that a teenage girl living in the town of Sunnydale could possibly hurt his reelection chances.

We reached out to the White House for comment but received no response.

We will have more on this story as information becomes available. Stay informed with TBK Magazine. Your second or third choice in Headlie coverage.

What's Your Reaction?

Like Like
Love Love
Geek Out Geek Out
Geek Out
Sad Sad
Angry Angry
Richard Pruitt
I am Richard and I have a problem. A problem with entertaining people. I have been in the comedy world for over 10 years. I started out as an improv actor making fun and light of everything. Doing that felt rewarding, but I have to admit, I wanted more. I couldn’t get the taste of performing out of my mouth. Does that not sound a little creepy? I decided to start doing my own stand up show. I love to make fun of my family and anything that will make a normal person say what the fuck. The journey still continues, in 2009, I had a dream to create my own online magazine. This is the beautiful corner of craziness in front of you. I have been through hell in my life but being stopped is something that I will not let happen. I am a fighter and hope to make people realize it is ok to smile and think from time to time. It also helps being a nerd.
Choose A Format
Personality quiz
Series of questions that intends to reveal something about the personality
Trivia quiz
Series of questions with right and wrong answers that intends to check knowledge
Voting to make decisions or determine opinions
Formatted Text with Embeds and Visuals
The Classic Internet Listicles
The Classic Internet Countdowns
Open List
Submit your own item and vote up for the best submission
Ranked List
Upvote or downvote to decide the best list item
Upload your own images to make custom memes
Youtube, Vimeo or Vine Embeds
Soundcloud or Mixcloud Embeds
Photo or GIF
GIF format
Send this to a friend